A Start

Is it just me or is breaking free of emotional eating habits hard?

Last Thursday, I started obsessing about having a blizzard from DQ. I knew Joe was going to work late. I knew that the type I liked is only made at a select few places. And I knew that I had 3 hours left in my work day before I could leave to go get one.

By the time my normal quit time came around, I was practically salivating.

I started the 20 minute drive in traffic, and I was really looking forward to that first bite. I was picturing myself ordering it/them (maybe I wanted two small blizzards?). I was envisioning how the crunchy bits would soothe just as much as the creamy parts.

The windows we down in my car, the sun was shining, the music station I love was on. I was going to get a fix. Life didn't seem like it could get better.

And then I realized that I really liked the song on the radio. It had a great beat. I turned up the radio.

I realized I really loved that song and before I could really think about it, I realized that I wanted to move to the song. "This would be a great song to run to." I thought.

Crap. Just like that, my fixation on the fix lessened. And with just a few minutes left to get to the DQ, I exited and turned my car around.

I went home.

I changed into my running clothes.

And dammit, I ran. I completed a 5K. I walked a lot of it. But I did it.

I'm not going to lie to you, there were parts of that run, where I wished I would've enjoyed the blizzard instead. For those that run, it was just a bad one. I couldn't get my breathing or my stride right. It wasn't particularly enjoyable. But I did it.

I've been thinking about why my desire to have the blizzard was so strong. Why did it seem like nothing else would do?

And while I may not have the whole answer, I believe I have an idea.

I fixated on something for three hours. I fixated on every aspect of that something. What would happen beforehand, what would happen during, and what would happen after. That's some powerful visualization right there, no?

I challenge you to think of anything comforting or pleasurable for hours, and see if you're not all excited to have whatever that is with enthusiasm. I think that's why sexy teasing in the morning before work equals hot passionate sex after work.

It made me aware that what you focus on really has a huge impact. And how monitoring my thoughts matter me farther than I ever was really aware.

So instead of fixating on whatever you current comfort food is, perhaps it's time to ask ourselves what we really want. A reward after a long day? A break from thinking? A chance to zone out? The comfort of something flooding our senses? And then think of another way to satisfy that need in a healthy way.

Lately, for me that's been coming home and cocooning myself in fluffy blankets while having a cup of tea.

It may not be enough of a change to help me lose 60 pounds, but it's a start.