Running Recap

So this past weekend, I ran in another 5K - the Das Hustlehoff run which was in honor of Oktoberfest - and apparently David Hastlehoff.

We had to pick up our free t-shirts on Friday night (along with our numbers and our timing chips) and I have to say, I was pretty bummed with this year's shirt choice.  LAST year, it was a dark, long sleeved shirt with "RUNNER" on the back - as if it were letters on a Colorado license plate.  It was like the coolest running shirt I've ever seen.

This years? Not so much. 

So I decided to not run in it. :)  Instead, I picked a shirt that I got a few weeks ago when my younger sister was in town - I needed the motivation and the support that I felt from the shirt. 

Truthfully?  I was worried.  The last race I ran was in April.  But at that time, I was in much better shape...I've really fallen off the racing band wagon this summer - blaming it on the heat outside and the fact that I left my gym membership expire. 

Well, that and while picking up the shirt from the Oktoberfest, I had two beers and a brat - not exactly great pre-running fuel.

Before the race, while stretching, I noticed two girls who were giggling at the costumes.  Sure, there were people in German outfits.  But there were also people in Baywatch outfits, people attempting to look like Hastlehoff in Night Rider, and people looking like the David that was drunk and eating a cheeseburger off the floor (even holding a cheeseburger!).  Let's just say I've seen enough speedos to last me another year.

Anyway, I chatted up the girls, made some jokes, and then we started the race. I passed them at first (which is pretty standard...there were four of them by the time the race started...and sometimes that makes people slower).

I was surprised to notice that the route changed from last year.  Last year, the route was pretty flat.  This year, the route took us up and down (TWICE) 20th street - which has a steep gradation - as well as a big hill up 15th to pass over I-25 (near the Highlands for you Denver-ites).  It was tough.  And at the top of 15th, I stopped running.  I had to walk.

A few steps into walking, and two of the girls (the original two that I chatted up before the race), said "Come on!  You're at the top of the hill!  YOU CAN DO THIS!"

And I did.

I started running again...and kept pace with them almost all the way to the finish line.  I learned that they were training for a half marathon and that they ran together often.  I learned that they were BFFs and they learned my name and that I was going to eat a pancake after the race. :)

The last big hill, I stopped and walked about 100 yards from the top.  I just couldn't keep running.  As soon as it leveled off, I ran to the finish line.

My time?  34:05 - best officially timed 5K pace.

And I'm proud.  I'm proud that I raced, proud that I finished, and proud that I PR'd.

Oh, I AM going to Hustle the Hoff

Last year I ran in several 5Ks that were fun...but I also ran in my fair share that were duds.

This year I decided to only run at events that were either going to be fun, have an awesome t-shirt, where the proceeds go to a cause I really care about, or were going to test my ability to run further.

One of the events that I ran in last year was Das Hustlehoff.  It was SO MUCH FUN.  It's paired with Denver's Oktoberfest celebrations and they encourage people to dress up like German people or even just Baywatch characters (ala David Hastlehoff).

I've decided to enroll again this year.  I'm not going to dress as a bar maid. but I did think about picking a white t-shirt to tuck into my yoga pants and wearing suspenders - so kind of like a poor man's lederhosen.  At a bare minimum, I'll wear my braids and (if I can find them in my size) knee high socks.

My time from last year wasn't fast at all, but seeing as how I've been out of running practice lately, I'm just going to try to match that time.

If you're in Denver and want to join in the fun, here are the details.

In other news, I'm back from Peoria.  I didn't do horribly, but I definitely didn't stick to my plan - at least not 100% of it.  I ate more than I should've, drank more than I should've, got less sleep than I should've, but OH MY was it exactly what I needed.

The scale says I'm up 3 pounds...which is a bit more than I had thought.  I'm not concerned - some hard work this week will decrease that gain.  I can't believe that it's more than water weight, but I guess the proof is with the scale this week...so we'll see how much further I can get it to go down.

Also, THANK you for everyone who has given me awards recently!  I need to get caught up on all of that.  I've been so bad about it - it means very much that you think as highly of my blog as you do.  If I haven't already done so, I'll be by your blog to thank you "in person."  I have the best of plans to add a page onto my main blog showcasing the awards and the wonderful people who gave them to me.  So thank you.

I choose hope

The run that I wrote about in my last post was Saturday morning. It was organized by my Weight Watchers leader, Angela, and was...well...okay.

First, I didn't want to get out of bed because Joe was all cute, snuggly, and warm. Second, I didn't want to go because I didn't want to feel pressured to run either my fastest time (to win) or a 10K. Third (and in the TMI department so feel free to skip this), I was cramping. A lot. As in once every few months, I cramp so badly that I just want to curl up and wait it out with hot pads on my abdomen.

But, I went anyway. I got ready to run and then my leader asked those that were there (about 30 of us) which of us were running. I was the only one.

I was sluggish. Like feeling-like-I-was-running-through-marshmallow-creme sluggish. I just didn't have energy (which could be related to the mass exodus that my uterus was invoking OR could maybe possibly have something to do with the fact that I had more than a few Mini Butterfinger bars the day before).

Since I was the only runner, I finished first.

Yes, I could've forced myself to do it all over again and do a 10K, which was my original goal. But I was spent. It was HOT that morning and I was already feeling so sluggish that I really didn't think I had it in me. Even though I had taken Zyrtec AND my inhaler before running, I was still coughing up a ton of stuff and wheezing horribly (this has lasted all through the weekend - even still when I breathe I have a rattle in my lungs and I'm EXHAUSTED).

So instead of doing a 10K, I accepted the high fives and then ran back to the next group of people that I knew. I walked with them 'til the finish line. Then I ran back again to find another friend and finished with him. I didn't do a 10K, but I did much more than a 5K. And it's probably the only time in my life I'll actually WIN a "race." It felt strange but I'm proud nonetheless.

Technically, I'm a winner.

There was one down part during the day where I realized that this group was probably not for me any longer. I was standing at the finish line talking with some members of the meeting (and my leader) and someone asked about a gal that used to attend. Her name is Fi and she was running a lot and training for some sort of step climbing competition.

Anyway, about 6-8 weeks ago she stopped coming. People were asking our leader if she'd heard anything from her and my leader said that she hadn't. We remarked that that was too bad - since we really liked her.

AND THEN she said, "But you know, she'll be back. Maybe it will be a year, maybe it'll be two, but she'll be back. They always come back."

People around me nodded their heads in agreement but I shrank inwards.

I'm feeling a lot of things at that statement - fear that my approach of mindful/intuitive eating won't work, anger for encouraging the fear that our weight will come back if we don't do WW, as well as frustration of the insensitivity towards other people.

I believe that we can live intuitively. I believe that it is possible. It MUST be possible. I believe that we are worthy of our own trust.

I'm tired of mediating the war between what WW teaches paired with what my meeting talks about and what the knowledge that is inside me says.

I asked Joe for his advice and he asked three simple questions:

1) Does what you learn or experience at WW help you in your journey to lose weight the way that you are trying to lose weight now (intuitive/mindful eating)?
2) Do you feel like you can disregard the number on the scale COMPLETELY while still going to the meetings?
3) Is there another pressing reason you want to go OTHER than the fact that you don't want your leader to say the same stuff about you as what she did about Fi?

My answers to all of those questions were "No."

So I'm not going to go.

I sort of want to go to say good-bye. This is a group that I've spent almost 2 years with. But, like Joe said, I can stop by in a few months if I want - just to say hi.

I'm a little sad. I'm more than a little scared.

Maybe Angela is right. Maybe I will come back in a year or sooner.

But in the back of my head a voice is asking, what if I'M right? What if I CAN be trusted? What if this plan CAN work?

I want to be the person who chooses hope over fear.

And so I will.

What do old people, "Cops," and 5Ks have in common? This post.

So despite my bragging about being a runner, I should probably disclose that I'm not a fast runner.

At races, I typically start off near the back of the pack and then somehow get passed by more people than were behind me in the first place. Seriously. I once was in a 5K last year where what looked like a 100 year old man who was a SPEED WALKER passed me - he kicked my bootay he was so fast.

I get passed by almost everyone or at least it feels that way - I'm that slow.

But when I first started racing, I realized that no one really cares about what place they come in - except for the people that have shot of finishing first and winning a prize. I took a lesson from what seemed to be the norm and concentrated on myself. I race as I feel able and even when I finish in the back of the pack, I'm proud that I finished.

Because realistically, the people that I'm "racing" against are about 100 pounds soaking wet. They wear shorts that are WAY to frickin' short (hello, guys - I'm talking to you!) and look like antelope running. They inspire and scare me.

But the "race" that I'm running tomorrow is different.

See, Weight Watchers has this whole "Walk it Off Challenge" or something like that. I can't remember exactly what it is, but hopefully Jams will enlighten us. Anyway, they encourage people to get out there and walk a 5K. To my knowledge they're not organizing anything, it's just this ambiguous "go out there and walk, you fatty!" type of encouragement.

So my leader, being the most bubbly and awesome person ever, actually organized a 5K for us. I say us because she only leads one meeting - and that's ours. Technically it encompasses our whole center. I'm not so naive to think that I'm the fastest runner in the center, but I'm pretty sure that I'm the fastest one in my meeting. That may or may not have to do with the fact that the average age of my meeting is 82.8 years.

So for the last two weeks, I've been thinking about this "race." At first I was excited...I mean, I have an actual chance to win this thing! There are even going to be prizes! And then I saw it as a way for me to run a 10K instead of just a 5K. I've always wanted to run a 10K...and I've run 5.5 miles at a time twice, so I should be able to run the 6.2, right? Two weeks ago, I boldly told my leader (Angela) that I was going to run my 10K. She said congratulations and told me that she would see me then (I weigh in on Mondays and our meeting was cancelled this past week due to Memorial Day)!

But finishing a 10K probably should involve me actually RUNNING in the last two weeks.

Technically, I did run this past Wednesday, as I said I would, but let's just say it wasn't pleasant. My allergies acted up and I had so much drainage in my throat that I struggled to breathe for part of the run. Which wouldn't have been as horrible if my eyes weren't also tearing up. So basically, I looked like I had been maced (or at least pepper sprayed) because fluids were weeping from a lot of holes in my face - WHILE RUNNING. Good thing for me, I work in a crappy part of town where people are used to seeing people running after getting maced/pepper sprayed. In fact, I'm surprised that they weren't taping an episode of "Cops" right then. You think I'm kidding, but I run by a prostitute EVERY TIME on a route that I sometimes take. She sits on a bus bench and often gets picked up by strange people who are always in different cars. And the way she walks up to said vehicle? Totally prostitute-y. And just in case you want to giggle, say prostitute-y out loud. :)

ANYWAY, I've decided that I'm only going to run the 5K tomorrow morning. EVEN THOUGH my leader totally sent me a postcard that was all "Hi Anne! I can't wait to see you on Saturday when you run your first 10K! Love, hugs, kisses, and don't you dare disappoint me: Angela" Only I might have been making up that last part.

So here's the thing, I don't want to race - even the 5K. I feel really anxious just thinking about it. I think it's because I might actually have a fear of success or failure. Maybe it's because I knew I would never be the fastest of any race I've run before and this one I might actually try to win it and if I don't then I suck?

I don't know.

But I will go ahead and run it. Because I think it's good for me to face my fears - even when they're a little silly.

And I'll take a Zyrtec in the morning so as to avoid (or at least to reduce the likelihood of) any Citizen's Arrest attempts on me.

I'll Love 'Em

As I wrote, Saturday I participated in the "Love 'Em or Leave 'Em 5K" in a small suburb of Denver.

My boyfriend and I drove down to the race where we FROZE waiting for the race to start. It was in the 30s, but because the wind was blowing so hard and the sun wasn't out, it felt much much colder. He didn't actually participate in the race (despite him being physically fit, he isn't much of a runner yet) but instead read a book in the warm car.

I appreciated his support so much. It helped knowing that while I was running this crazy, cold race, someone was waiting for me to finish. :)

My result was my fastest time yet. As I crossed the finish line, the lady yelled that I finished in 34'16".* I was thrilled. Up until now, my fastest time was 34'49" during the Turkey Trot in November of last year. The fact that I ran this race as fast as I did was pretty cool. The race was so poorly planned that there were a lot of injuries and a lot of confusion. The course was rocky and bumpy (like running through an abandoned field) and it was covered with ice in some areas. I saw at least five people trip, fall, or roll their ankles. They were accompanied by friends who helped them (or else I would've) but I hope that they were okay.

When I finished the race, we went out to breakfast and enjoyed a nice leisurely day. And that day? It led to the best morning that I've had in a while.

Because the next morning was Valentine's Day and the guy that I'm dating? He is absolutely wonderful. I've had my share of guys that have said that they loved me but didn't treat me like they did. My boyfriend? He does both. When I woke up the next morning to 5" of snow on the ground and was worried that I wouldn't get enough stuff done before being able to leave on my flight, he went outside and swept the snow off my car. Then he ran a quick errand for me and he even bought me breakfast and delivered it to me at a convenient intersection after I dropped off my dog just because he knew that I didn't have enough time to eat.

I love this man. And he loves me. It feels glorious to know that. So, when faced with the choice of loving him or leaving him? Well, I think I'll keep him.

The Cupid Shuffle

This morning I'm going to be running in the "Parker Love 'Em or Leave 'Em" 5K. I'd normally love to run the 5K on Valentine's Day because I'm weird like that, but tomorrow morning I'm traveling to Houston for another week of training. Thankfully, it's the last week of training and although it will be completely exhausting, I'm so thankful that I got to have this training.

A week ago when I was out with my friends, I heard a song for the first time...and I couldn't get it out of my head. It's lyrics embed themselves in your head... sort of like an alien. And then you can't get it out of your head...sort of like the flash of the visual that you might have when you realize that your parents actually had to have sex to make you. You're welcome.

At any rate, I eventually downloaded it and then listened to it about eleventy billion more times and I am still hooked.

Lyrically, don't expect much. In fact, musically, don't expect much. But the bass beat in the background is funky and it allows me to keep pace pretty well as I'm running.

So for today's race, it's going to be my "Power song" on my Nike +. The idea is that as you're getting tired or sluggish on your run, you can hit a button that immediately plays this song and then you'll be rejuvenated.

And, because I'm kind of a dork, I love that since it's Valentine's Day (almost) it's cute that I'm listening to "The Cupid Shuffle" by Cupid (although I somehow suspect that's not his real name :) ).

A measure of success

I'm pretty proud of myself this past week.

I paid attention to my feelings and tried (and was successful sometimes) with breaking that cycle between feeling and eating.

The scale says I'm down today - and that's pretty consistent with how I feel. I feel that I've been more in control of my emotions this week. And because of that, I've tried to focus on the concept that food is just for fuel...not for filling emotions. This week was pretty successful, and my goal is to try to continue that through this next week too.

I'm sure that running 13 miles this past week didn't hurt either.

Speaking of, this past weekend was the first 5K that I ran all the way through...and I'm pretty proud.

Here's me finishing the race...

Here's me clicking off my Nike+ to get the time. Because I was farther back in the pack when we started (there were 3000 people there!) and due to my weaving on the course, I actually ran closer to 3.5 miles...at 10'47" a mile. That's faster than what I've been in a long time...and I coudln't be prouder!

Here's me after the race ended...and this shirt? It's a LARGE. No extra's here...

I'm trying to decide if I want to do another 5K this weekend or if I just want to wait until August 8th, which is the Aflac IronGirl race....