What do old people, "Cops," and 5Ks have in common? This post.

So despite my bragging about being a runner, I should probably disclose that I'm not a fast runner.

At races, I typically start off near the back of the pack and then somehow get passed by more people than were behind me in the first place. Seriously. I once was in a 5K last year where what looked like a 100 year old man who was a SPEED WALKER passed me - he kicked my bootay he was so fast.

I get passed by almost everyone or at least it feels that way - I'm that slow.

But when I first started racing, I realized that no one really cares about what place they come in - except for the people that have shot of finishing first and winning a prize. I took a lesson from what seemed to be the norm and concentrated on myself. I race as I feel able and even when I finish in the back of the pack, I'm proud that I finished.

Because realistically, the people that I'm "racing" against are about 100 pounds soaking wet. They wear shorts that are WAY to frickin' short (hello, guys - I'm talking to you!) and look like antelope running. They inspire and scare me.

But the "race" that I'm running tomorrow is different.

See, Weight Watchers has this whole "Walk it Off Challenge" or something like that. I can't remember exactly what it is, but hopefully Jams will enlighten us. Anyway, they encourage people to get out there and walk a 5K. To my knowledge they're not organizing anything, it's just this ambiguous "go out there and walk, you fatty!" type of encouragement.

So my leader, being the most bubbly and awesome person ever, actually organized a 5K for us. I say us because she only leads one meeting - and that's ours. Technically it encompasses our whole center. I'm not so naive to think that I'm the fastest runner in the center, but I'm pretty sure that I'm the fastest one in my meeting. That may or may not have to do with the fact that the average age of my meeting is 82.8 years.

So for the last two weeks, I've been thinking about this "race." At first I was excited...I mean, I have an actual chance to win this thing! There are even going to be prizes! And then I saw it as a way for me to run a 10K instead of just a 5K. I've always wanted to run a 10K...and I've run 5.5 miles at a time twice, so I should be able to run the 6.2, right? Two weeks ago, I boldly told my leader (Angela) that I was going to run my 10K. She said congratulations and told me that she would see me then (I weigh in on Mondays and our meeting was cancelled this past week due to Memorial Day)!

But finishing a 10K probably should involve me actually RUNNING in the last two weeks.

Technically, I did run this past Wednesday, as I said I would, but let's just say it wasn't pleasant. My allergies acted up and I had so much drainage in my throat that I struggled to breathe for part of the run. Which wouldn't have been as horrible if my eyes weren't also tearing up. So basically, I looked like I had been maced (or at least pepper sprayed) because fluids were weeping from a lot of holes in my face - WHILE RUNNING. Good thing for me, I work in a crappy part of town where people are used to seeing people running after getting maced/pepper sprayed. In fact, I'm surprised that they weren't taping an episode of "Cops" right then. You think I'm kidding, but I run by a prostitute EVERY TIME on a route that I sometimes take. She sits on a bus bench and often gets picked up by strange people who are always in different cars. And the way she walks up to said vehicle? Totally prostitute-y. And just in case you want to giggle, say prostitute-y out loud. :)

ANYWAY, I've decided that I'm only going to run the 5K tomorrow morning. EVEN THOUGH my leader totally sent me a postcard that was all "Hi Anne! I can't wait to see you on Saturday when you run your first 10K! Love, hugs, kisses, and don't you dare disappoint me: Angela" Only I might have been making up that last part.

So here's the thing, I don't want to race - even the 5K. I feel really anxious just thinking about it. I think it's because I might actually have a fear of success or failure. Maybe it's because I knew I would never be the fastest of any race I've run before and this one I might actually try to win it and if I don't then I suck?

I don't know.

But I will go ahead and run it. Because I think it's good for me to face my fears - even when they're a little silly.

And I'll take a Zyrtec in the morning so as to avoid (or at least to reduce the likelihood of) any Citizen's Arrest attempts on me.