Friday, June 4, 2010

What do old people, "Cops," and 5Ks have in common? This post.

So despite my bragging about being a runner, I should probably disclose that I'm not a fast runner.

At races, I typically start off near the back of the pack and then somehow get passed by more people than were behind me in the first place. Seriously. I once was in a 5K last year where what looked like a 100 year old man who was a SPEED WALKER passed me - he kicked my bootay he was so fast.

I get passed by almost everyone or at least it feels that way - I'm that slow.

But when I first started racing, I realized that no one really cares about what place they come in - except for the people that have shot of finishing first and winning a prize. I took a lesson from what seemed to be the norm and concentrated on myself. I race as I feel able and even when I finish in the back of the pack, I'm proud that I finished.

Because realistically, the people that I'm "racing" against are about 100 pounds soaking wet. They wear shorts that are WAY to frickin' short (hello, guys - I'm talking to you!) and look like antelope running. They inspire and scare me.

But the "race" that I'm running tomorrow is different.

See, Weight Watchers has this whole "Walk it Off Challenge" or something like that. I can't remember exactly what it is, but hopefully Jams will enlighten us. Anyway, they encourage people to get out there and walk a 5K. To my knowledge they're not organizing anything, it's just this ambiguous "go out there and walk, you fatty!" type of encouragement.

So my leader, being the most bubbly and awesome person ever, actually organized a 5K for us. I say us because she only leads one meeting - and that's ours. Technically it encompasses our whole center. I'm not so naive to think that I'm the fastest runner in the center, but I'm pretty sure that I'm the fastest one in my meeting. That may or may not have to do with the fact that the average age of my meeting is 82.8 years.

So for the last two weeks, I've been thinking about this "race." At first I was excited...I mean, I have an actual chance to win this thing! There are even going to be prizes! And then I saw it as a way for me to run a 10K instead of just a 5K. I've always wanted to run a 10K...and I've run 5.5 miles at a time twice, so I should be able to run the 6.2, right? Two weeks ago, I boldly told my leader (Angela) that I was going to run my 10K. She said congratulations and told me that she would see me then (I weigh in on Mondays and our meeting was cancelled this past week due to Memorial Day)!

But finishing a 10K probably should involve me actually RUNNING in the last two weeks.

Technically, I did run this past Wednesday, as I said I would, but let's just say it wasn't pleasant. My allergies acted up and I had so much drainage in my throat that I struggled to breathe for part of the run. Which wouldn't have been as horrible if my eyes weren't also tearing up. So basically, I looked like I had been maced (or at least pepper sprayed) because fluids were weeping from a lot of holes in my face - WHILE RUNNING. Good thing for me, I work in a crappy part of town where people are used to seeing people running after getting maced/pepper sprayed. In fact, I'm surprised that they weren't taping an episode of "Cops" right then. You think I'm kidding, but I run by a prostitute EVERY TIME on a route that I sometimes take. She sits on a bus bench and often gets picked up by strange people who are always in different cars. And the way she walks up to said vehicle? Totally prostitute-y. And just in case you want to giggle, say prostitute-y out loud. :)

ANYWAY, I've decided that I'm only going to run the 5K tomorrow morning. EVEN THOUGH my leader totally sent me a postcard that was all "Hi Anne! I can't wait to see you on Saturday when you run your first 10K! Love, hugs, kisses, and don't you dare disappoint me: Angela" Only I might have been making up that last part.

So here's the thing, I don't want to race - even the 5K. I feel really anxious just thinking about it. I think it's because I might actually have a fear of success or failure. Maybe it's because I knew I would never be the fastest of any race I've run before and this one I might actually try to win it and if I don't then I suck?

I don't know.

But I will go ahead and run it. Because I think it's good for me to face my fears - even when they're a little silly.

And I'll take a Zyrtec in the morning so as to avoid (or at least to reduce the likelihood of) any Citizen's Arrest attempts on me.


SherRon, Shoes To Lose said...

Hahaha! This post is hilarious. Good luck on your 5k!

Jams said...

Jams to the rescue! :) It's the Walk It Challenge. WW's effort to get people moving, without suggesting that everyone run a 5k, because we realize that not everyone is up for that. But walk a 5k... with the right training, most people can!

As for you and your decision to not do the 10k. Don't decide that now! Wait and see how you're feeling. You see... You are an amazing woman, and I have no doubt that you could finish that 10K. And yes, if you can run 5.5 miles, you can run 6.2. I know this, because when I trained for the half marathon, the longest training run I did was 9 miles! ;)

Adrenaline will take you farther than you think. And consider this... your mind is what's getting in your way, your body can handle the 10k.

I say, start tomorrow and if you feel like going the distance, then do it. But don't let your mind make that decision... stop if your body really needs to stop... otherwise, challenge yourself! I can't wait to hear what happens!

Traci said...

WOW! husband was laughing too. Go for it!! Don't be afraid of your success. You can do it. If you have done 5.5 twice, then you are prepared enough for a 6.2. Just go for it. Push your way through it until you finish it. You will feel so accomplished when it's over. But even if you opt for the 5K don't feel like a failure if you aren't in 1st place. Remember that little 100 year old passing you up. That should inspire you to want to keep running so that when you're 100, you can pass up the cute young things in the race. :) I can't wait to hear how the race goes.

Brandy said...

ha, prostitut-y, nice! When you finish the race even if it's not the best one you've still accomplished a lot. Have fun!

Tina said...

Good Luck! My WW leader organized 5K walks for us every Thursday for 2 months. I have done 2 of the first 3, one was last night. It is really fun to walk and talk with her outside of the meetings.

Katy said...

fluids weeping from holes in your face. prostuit-y. Anne, you kill me.

Good luck tomorrow, I know you'll do great. Just think of the new found confidence you'll have when you're at the front of the pack!

Lesia said...

I got permission to ride my tricycle tomorrow. There will be people who will be running but the most part will be walking. My family is going with me too. Way cool. Not being able to walk is always a sad part to me. So when I read about runners and people doing any K walks I get depressed. But what excitment to be able to do it on my bike (well an adult trike). Thank you for your insight on my part 2 blog post. It really helped. Love your post and your

TinaM said...

Prostitut-y ha! LOL. Good luck, you should be proud of yourself for facing your fears!

Kris said...

How fun! That Angela, she is a sweetie pie! Please tell everyone, that I would know, HI from me. I sure miss all those sunshinny faces including Angela's!!!
Do well and have fun, after all that is what it is all about!

Missa said...

Just do it. Even if you have to walk some of the 10k, it is totally worth the effort. GO FOR IT!!! You will be so satisfied at the finish-line! I am routing for you! RAH RAH RAH!


Anonymous said...

Virtue dwells not in the tongue but in the heart. ............................................................

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