Habits vs. Routine

Last week, at my Weight Watchers meeting, a person in our meeting made a statement along the lines of "Well, that's just my new routine."  My leader stopped and looked at her and then asked, "What is the difference between habits and routines?"

I'll admit it, I was a bit stumped.  I mean, I know that there is a difference (there had to be, or she wouldn't have asked the question, right??), but in truth I couldn't think of a meaningful difference.

After a bit of what can only be described as wrong answers from the members, our leader helped us with the difference - at least as she saw it.

Routines have to do with time - they're what you do every morning, afternoon, or evening.  They're the bowl of Cheerios you have for breakfast because you know that they're only X number of points.  They're the five mile run you take every morning so you feel better.  They're the bag of carrots that you have each afternoon to stave off hunger.

But habits?  Well, habits are a broader way that you actually live - and they really don't have a lot to do with fixed time frames or specifics.

For instance, your routine may be the bowl of Cheerios, but your habit may be to work whole grains into breakfast.  The end result is the same, but the habits are more likely to get you to change who you really are. And when you actually change your habits, you start to change yourself.  If you're the Cheerios eating skinny lady, what do you do when you visit other people or go out to breakfast and there are no Cheerios in sight?  Your routine is gone and you're more likely to throw the whole eating healthy thing out the window.

BUT if your habit is to have whole grains at every breakfast, you'd shrug off the Cheerios-free morning and choose something that was equally as hearty.

Can we lose weight by changing our routines alone? You betcha'.  I'd be willing to wager that this is how most of us have lost the weight - time and time again.  You get motivation and you change your lifestyle.  You throw out all the junk food and dive right into a great new eating plan or exercise regime.

But if we only change our routines, it's probably harder to have the will power to stay on the track that we've laid out for ourselves.

In order for all of us to live the healthiest that we can, we must be willing to change our habits - not just our routines.

This subtle difference made me change the way that I looked at my own life, especially as it pertains to my weight loss.

I have a few habits that I'd like to change - like sleeping in as late as I can every day of the week, brooding by myself when I feel particularly blue, and worrying about things that are outside of my control.

But I have a few habits that I'm kind of proud of too - like working in a veggie at every meal, trying a new food when it's presented to me (pertaining to veggies or fruits that I'm unfamiliar with), and working on getting more fiber into my daily intake.

I think the habits were formed by routines that I had put in place.  I used to not want veggies, but the points values when I added them made things lower - and therefore it was worth the veggies.  After years of this, I noticed that my body felt better when I ate more veggies.  And (gasp!) when I didn't eat as many, I kind of missed how my body ran.  So now I look for ways to make my body feel better - at least in terms of fuel.

It's a small distinction, really.  But it's helped me be more aware of the choices I make and the reason why I make them.  Sometimes they're out of habits and sometimes they're out of routine.  Neither is bad, per se.  It's just another thing that I'm noticing and felt like it was worthy of sharing.

Building momentum

Probably one of my lowest moments in recent months was when I started really feeling apathetic towards my weight loss. I had maintained a 50-55 pound weight loss for a year...and I started to think that maybe that was good enough. Maybe this weight was where I was meant to be. Maybe being in size 16 jeans was as good as it got for me.

That's when I wrote the post about decadence and about how maybe me not doing as well in my eating was actually me trying to pamper myself. Since then, I've had many a-ha! moments. In fact, I'd wager to say that I've learned more about myself in the last two months than what I had in the previous 12.

I've learned to trust myself. I've learned to listen to my body more. During the decision to put my house on the market, getting an offer, looking for houses, and ultimately deciding to live with Joe, I've learned to trust that everything will be okay - no matter what happens.

Moreover, I've learned to trust myself again with food. I'm not saying I'm perfect with this...but as harried as things felt last week, I kept going with what felt right to me: Eat things that fuel your body when you're hungry. Don't deprive yourself, but do exercise self-control.

I'm pleased to report that I had another 2 pound loss this week. This loss, even when paired with the 2.8 pound loss from last week, doesn't even negate the 5 pound gain I had a few weeks ago. But it's in the right direction.

It feels good to have a loss and know that you "earned" it. I put in the work, I listened to my body more consistently than I have. I made mistakes, but I worked through them. It'll be something that I'll have to practice with more regularity until it becomes my habit, of course, but for now I'm focusing on the feeling of when I am mindful about my eating, I feel great.

I'm proud to be at 53.8 pounds down...even if it is the umpteenth time I've been here. I'm proud to be here because I know that this is the last time I will be at this weight.

Oh, and my size 16 jeans are no longer too tight. :) Sure, sure...the best news is that my body feels better, but come on! Not having to use a shoehorn to get into jeans that are too tight is a fantastic feeling. Can I get an "Amen?"

Deliberately absent

After my flat tire post last week, I decided to group it together. Some times I was better than others...and in the end, I didn't exactly fix the flat, but I also didn't slash the other three tires.

I know I've posted about this before, but I'm constantly amazed at how much better I function with sleep, good food, and exercise. Sometimes I get frustrated that I keep having to re-learn this lesson, but then I remember that it took me 31 years to get the habits that I had...so they probably can't all be erased in the seven months at Weight Watchers.

In fact, I think that acceptance is probably the greatest hurdle I face again and again in my weight loss journey. Acceptance that I'm not losing weight as fast as I was in the beginning, acceptance of the fear that I may gain it back (again), acceptance of the weeks where I didn't do as well as what would've been nice, and acceptance of the new body that is emerging.

When I graduated from college, I was heavier than I'd ever been before in my life (up until that point at least). And I lost some decent weight on a plan called "The Carbohydrates Addict Diet" and was amazed at how cutting out the carbs, even for just two meals, made me feel better. I joined WW then at right about the same weight I am these days. I lost 46 pounds in 4.5 months - even over Thanksgiving and Christmas. I got to be a size 10. And then I started dating, I bought a house, and I started having real stresses at work. And I couldn't adapt. The weight came back on slowly but surely and as of last July, I had gained almost 100 pounds since then. I didn't LEARN how to live better and more healthy.

This time it's different. I'm dating someone and am having to struggle with putting myself and my needs first. I'm having to struggle with constant thoughts that he is going to be frustrated because I can't indulge the way that he can. I've gotten way less sleep than what I have learned again and again my body needs to function properly. I've realized that with lower sleep comes heavy sugar cravings. Cravings lead to me eating "bad" food choices, which leaves me feeling fatigued, which leaves me not wanting to work out.

So the new guy and I talked about it on Tuesday night and I explained to him how I was feeling. And he was very supportive. And I realized that my needs? They're important to him AND myself. And I need to start giving myself the same love and attention that I give others. I find this to be a reoccuring theme on "The Biggest Loser." People that give too much end up giving themselves the gift of being fat. I don't want that gift any more.

Part of me listening to my feelings was not posting my gain this week. It wasn't nearly as much as I had expected and I'm shocked at how this morning, standing on the scale, it appears that I've already lost all that I gained.

I beat myself up for not being "accountable" - not posting my gain on the challenge website, not posting my gain on the ticker above. And then I gave myself permission not to broadcast my faults. I praised myself for being accountable and going back to Weight Watchers. I praised myself for loving myself enough to not parade my shortcoming in front of everyone...because I knew that this week it wouldn't be good for me. I knew that this week I needed all the love and encouragement I could get.

So yes, I gained. I gained more than what I would've liked. I'm frustrated that those two weeks derailed my chances of being below 200 by July 4th. I'm frustrated that those two weeks happened....but I'm so proud of coming out on the other side. I'm proud of GAINING the perspective that it's just two weeks. Two weeks out of my entire lifetime? No big deal. Especially when you consider the fact that what I've started to learn (and will probably need to relearn) will help me keep the weight off the rest of my life.

I'm understanding why people call it a weight loss journey - because it IS a journey.

This time my eyes are open for pitfalls. This time I want to do it right.


Thanks for reading this far. I was quite the rambler... :)