Friday, June 18, 2010

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

Note: this post is not about weight loss, but it is about my life. Feel free to skip it if you wish...but I just didn't feel right in not writing about it.

A year ago today, I met my Joe.

See, I had finally decided that I was ready to try to start dating again. And, because I am fairly impatient, I'd decided that internet dating wasn't really for me. Believe me, I gave internet dating a good go, but in the end, it was like a roller coaster. You get your hopes up by email - hoping that this guy is as fabulous as you think he is and when you meet in person, you crash when you realize that the chemistry just isn't there.

So, I figured I'd rather meet a guy, have a conversation, share a few smiles, and then decide that I liked him enough to continue dating him. You know, like how they did in the olden days. Only without the square dancing.

So I signed up for a "Speed Date" night. In truth, I had tried it once before and had less than desirable results. When I went the year before, I was very heavy and felt SO unattractive. I made jokes, I smiled, I tried my best to flirt, but the only person who picked me to date again was a pastor. And I'm so not even kidding.

(Small aside: So after the speed dating event the first time, I had to go to the bathroom. Overheard from the other stall in the women's bathroom :
Woman A: UGH that was so embarrassing!
Woman B: What?
A: Well I was talking to this guy and I was telling him about my job.
B: Uh-huh...
A: And then he said "Well, my job is really interesting too!"
B: Uh-huh...
A: And I said, "Are you in porn?" And he said, "No. I'm a pastor."
B: Oh.
A: So then I said, "Oh GOD! I'm so sorry - did I just sin? Oh God! I did it again. Oh...gosh! I keep taking His name in vain!"
B: Oh no!
AND........... SCENE! )

But, because in addition to being impatient I'm a slow learner, I decided to go again.

I was told to sit at table #2...which I figured was a bad sign. I mean, who wants to sit at the poop table?

But I did anyway. My first date of the night? Joe. We joked, we talked about books, and laughed about a horrible painting on the wall. I told him that I worked with valves (I do...and it's just as exciting as it sounds) and he said that he would call me "Valve Girl." I asked if he could shorten it to "ValveGrrl" because that sounded cooler and more street savvy. He laughed and said yes. When our time was up, he moved on to the next table and that was it.

Later that night, we were able to pick who we wanted to see again and to be honest, I almost didn't pick anyone. I *thought* that if you didn't pick anyone, you got to go again. But then I read the fine print and saw that you only got to go again for free if no one picked you. I had already had an alert that someone had picked me, so I figured that I'd go ahead and pick the two guys that I was slightly interested in.

Which brings me to my first lesson: TAKE A CHANCE ON PEOPLE - even if you think that they might not be worth it.

Joe emailed me right away via the website address and we quickly exchanged "real" email addresses and phone numbers. What could go wrong?

A few days had gone by, I hadn't heard from him, so I decided that he had changed his mind. "No big deal," I told myself. "I wasn't that into him anyway."

The thing is, he DID send an email. And the email started out as "Dear ValveGrrl:" which my gmail account had decided was clearly spam. His email was in my spam box and I never even checked.

So now, from Joe's perspective, I'd just blown him off. And in a way that is COMPLETELY uncharacteristic of him (usually he would've just let it go), he called me several days later because he was peeved.

I answered the phone, in my old place that had virtually zero cell phone reception and actually completed the entire phone call. During which, I learned that he is absolutely one of the funniest people I'd ever had the privilege to talk to.

So my second lesson? If you want something, go after it...risk rejection!

And the rest, as they say, is history.

Sure, we've had some when I was on the Nuvaring and almost ripped his face off on a regular basis due to hormone imbalances, but for the most part, it's been wonderful, ideal, and absolutely fantastic.

I love this man, with all of my heart. And some days? I can't believe that I got so lucky to have him in my life as my partner. He supports me, loves me, and motivates me. In the storm that is sometimes my life, he is the safe shelter.

And today, I'm celebrating the fact that I've been lucky enough to just have known him for a year. Tonight we're going to the restaurant where we had our first date (which was actually on the 26th, but we're planning on being out of town next weekend).

A little over a month ago, we talked about our living situation. I sold my place in April and although I had every expectation to move out and find a new home, I found that after a week or two, I just didn't want to. So we talked and we decided that we both were really happy...and that we didn't want to live apart from each other. So, yes...we're officially living together. And now we're talking seriously about marriage and kids.

Honestly, my life has changed so much in the last year. I can't wait to see what the next year brings! :)


Katy said...

I'm giddy with excitement for you two. I may be sarcastic, but I'm a sucker for a good love story and lots of romance. You gots it.

fatgirl_vs_world said...

I've done speed dating before... I was surprised at how many guys were doing it drunk...

so i just ended up playing rock paper scissors with them.

The one guy i thought I had chemistry with said he "signed up before he met this girl..." and i was like ... eh? Equivocate much? *punt*

Jams said...

I'm so happy for you! That's a love story for the ages!

Pencil Skirt Bound said...

I'm so glad you decided to wrote this story even if it doesn't have anything to do with weight. I've never tried speed dating-it sounds awfully scary. I have done online dating.

One time I was determined to do everything I could to meet a guy online. I went on 25 dates. I must of had 3-4 dates per week. I was a busy girl! My rules were we couldn't just go somewhere and sit (think coffee dates) because I think I learn more about someone when we're involved in an activity(think museums, playing pool).

Every single one of them had lied and sent in their very, very best picture of themselves of their entire life so when I met them...I realized I couldn't have picked them out of a line-up with the photo they gave me. Except for one guy, he looked way better than his picture but unfortunately he was a little slow.

Men are weird. I was so mad because I always made it a point that I was a girl with curves, a little thick so they knew what they were getting into but these men....they think they are hot no matter what they look like...BAH!

Sorry so long!


McCulley's said...

What a great story! How awesome. Very excited for your journey together!

Marion said...

I feel like we have a whole lot in common. I am 33. I have lost 52 lbs. My experience with the internet dating thing has been similar to yours. I met a guy and went on two dates with him this week....and get this....his name is Joe! Hoping to have the same experience with my Joe as you have had with yours! Congrats and keep up the hard work! Love your blog!
Murn (from Murn's Turn)

Becca said...

Aw, what a great story about how you met your boy!!!!! I love it, you made me smile so much - I'm so happy for you, and all the love in your life!!

Happy anniversary!

TinaM said...

That is so sweet! I'm very happy for you!
I love reading about your life along with your weight loss.

Margie M. said...

Awwww. A real love story. Thanks for sharing your joy with everyone.

Have a great weekend.

julielopez3 said...

Oh I loved reading your love story!

Lala said...

What a wonderful, funny and sweet story. Joe sounds like a wonderful guy, and I am so glad that you loved yourself enough to find a loving and caring partner (I read your earlier post about "Mr. Perfect", and I must say that JOE sounds much more like Mr. Perfect to me--glad you found him!)!

Amy Pousson said...

woo hoo!! :)