Picture Pages

First, does anyone remember "Picture Pages" with Bill Cosby?

I used to love that show - and I totally wanted a squiggly bee pen.  And a Jello Pudding Pop.

Oh, who am I kidding?  I STILL want those.

Alright, I don't have it in me to do a serious mind-bending post today.

Instead I'm going to show you some pictures of some things.  It's like "Show N' Tell" from Kindergarten only without the nap time afterwards.

Here is a picture that I took on my last run.  It was during lunch and was right before The Deficit made it known that it doesn't not like me running.

I work in a pretty urban part of town - and my route is full of semi-truck exhaust fumes and hookers for the first and last mile...but there is one path that is off a main street - and that's where I run for the middle part of my run.  Pretty, no?

Since my office is moving on the 29th of this month, and I'm going in for surgery on the 28th (and I can't run between now and then) it's a little weird to think I won't see it again while running.  I'll take a trip down to walk that route (even if only for a little bit of it) during my lunch next week...just to say goodbye.  I changed my life on that path, it seems wrong somehow to not thank it.

The next picture is of something that I'm really starting to love...veggie sandwiches.  Specifically, veggie sandwiches on a toasted bagel.

This little puppy is from Einstein Brothers Bagels - and it's SO good.

I always thought that stuff loaded with veggies seemed so...diet-y.  So tasteless and unsatisfying.  One bite of this sandwich, and I realized the err in my ways. 

And lastly, Joe and I a few months back.

No, he's not giving me a wet willy (although that's totally what it looks like!), but we were snuggling at a music festival that came into town.  I caught him mid-kiss.

It's totally sappy, I know.  But in the last week or two when I've been worried about the surgery and it's possible ramifications, he's been a rock.  I love this man. 

As if there was any doubt...

Sticking with it

This past weekend, my younger sister and her fiance' flew into Denver for the annual Mile High Music Festival.

She and I have seen the Dave Matthews Band many times together, but this was the first where we brought our significant others.

We had a blast...I drank more than I typically do (which is to say that I drank SOME; I usually drink NONE), but for the most part I made great food choices.

Each morning at breakfast, I had what I really wanted and only as much as it took to fill me up.  For instance, one morning I had one egg, two slices of bacon, two strawberries, and wheat toast; a far cry from what I used to eat.

Saturday night, the first night of the festival, when faced with tons of carnival food, we all ate items from the vegetarian booth.  I had a spinach tortilla with lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes, onions, feta cheese, and hummus.  They were stingy on the hummus and feta cheese...so basically, I had veggies wrapped in a tortilla.  But you know what?  It was wonderful.  My body was happy that I didn't weigh it down with the greasy burgers, brats, and other foods that just wouldn't have tasted good.

I slipped up that night and got a single scoop ice cream cone though.  I say that I slipped up because I didn't really want it - I just wanted something sweet.  In retrospect, I should've had one or part of the berry kabobs that my younger sister enjoyed instead (yes, it was drizzled with some milk and white chocolate). 

Sunday night I didn't do AS well as I did on Saturday night.  I ended up having a huge beer on an empty stomach and ended up getting a chicago style dog (lots of veggies on a hot dog) instead of the veggie wrap.  I did share a fruit kabob with Joe though, so that was at least better than the ice cream.

Dave Matthews Band - we were very close to the stage!

The thing is, when surrounded by people who are doing just about everything to excess, a part of me wanted to join along.  A part of me wanted to not miss out - as if not stuffing my face would be me missing out on the experience somehow.  I realized that it was absurd to feel the way that I did.  I pondered why I felt that way.  I still don't know why I felt that way.  But I knew what I should do.  All of these thoughts are the same as what I've had the last 12 weeks.  Typically, at this point, I'd indulge anyway.  But this time, I remembered the quote that resonated with me on Friday.

This weekend, it came down to will.  I have to be WILLING to do the work.  Even if I don't want to.  Even if I don't understand.  Even if my inner voice wants to rebel.  Even though I wanted to, and even though I didn't understand why I wanted to, I left that "not understanding but still wanting" to the side.  I was willing to do what I promised to do even though I didn't get the WHY involved.  What matters is that I didn't indulge to excess.  The rest of the stuff I can figure out when I'm not in the moment wanting to eat everything in sight.

I think I now understand that practicing mindful eating doesn't mean doing whatever you want whenever you want.  I still have to be willing to take the actions (like moving my body or NOT eating) that are necessary.  Mindful eating also doesn't mean that you have to be perfect...that you have to know WHY you want to stop or continue eating in order to do it "right."  Sometimes, I have to just trust the process and know that whatever feelings come up can be figured out later...for now, I just need to promise to stop eating when I'm not hungry.

I was the biggest person in our group.  It was evident in every picture.  But just when I started feeling a little bad that I was the fattest in the group, I realized that at this time two years ago, I was different.

In 2008, my younger sister flew up to visit me for the first Mile High Music Festival where we saw Dave Matthews...I had just started my weight loss journey - having joined Weight Watchers the Monday before she flew out.  I've lost almost over 50 pounds since then and have kept it off. 

I have changed.  And while these pictures (with me in the exact same shirt!) shows the external changes, there were many internal ones that needed to be made as well.

Being 50 pounds lighter made a huge difference in where I was able to walk and what I was able to do.  It may have been two years, but I remember the pain of dancing for just one night had on my body the next day.  This time?  I danced both nights.   Last time I worried who would see the fat girl dancing in the crowd.  This time?  I didn't care who noticed.  I felt great.

I may still have been the biggest person in our party, but I'm healthier than what I was before.  THAT matters.  THAT is still a success.

I AM willing to continue to choose better choices.  I AM willing to pass on foods that my body doesn't want.  And I'm willing to do the work that it will take to be healthier - mind, body, and soul.

Picture this

Yesterday, I was going through some pictures on my work computer - thinking that I had some of my best friend and I.

It turns out, I don't - at least not on this computer. So I went onto my myspace account (which I haven't been on all year) and started looking through my "albums" thinking that there would be some on there.

I didn't find the pictures I was looking for, but I did find some old ones from before my weight loss.

I used to do the whole profile picture thing where the picture was usually of something other than me. If it was of me, it would be just my face. I'd take dozens of pictures and then pick out the two or three that looked like I had a skinnier face than others.

It was silly.

But without further ado, here is me then...and now.
With my older sister:


With my younger sister (I'm even doing the whole "lift your head up so you don't look like you have four chins thing"):


Just me:

When I look at those pictures, somehow I'm aware that the work that I've done is worth it. Not just for cosmetic reasons, but because I remember how frustrated I'd be scrolling through 50 pictures trying to find one where I didn't look as fat.

I remember hating the way I looked so much that I wondered why I should even bother.

I remember not wanting someone to "capture the moment" because I knew that I would love the memory of the fun we were having, but would not love the shame that came with seeing the picture later.

Now, I don't worry as much. I can enjoy being in the moment much more.

I don't remember me ever being that big. In fact, the one of just me (the before shot) was one of the best of the bunch...I was proud of that picture. In fact, when I looked at the pictures yesterday - for the first times in years, I was shocked at just how big I had been.

I'm looking forward to becoming even more secure in my looks - where I don't care what I look like in the pictures - where I focus on the fun we were having rather than worrying about multiple chins.

I'm looking forward to not ducking at least partially behind other people when someone whips out a camera.

What are you looking forward to, picture wise?

Scar Tissue

A few weeks ago, Joe and I took a much needed trip to Steamboat Springs, Colorado. On the trip, we decided to take a hike, which was a great idea in theory but involved a lot more sweat and movement than I had originally thought.

Anyway, it was gorgeous. There were waterfalls, a river, birds, flowers, and trees. Did I mention the beautiful trees? There were all types (says the person who knows nothing about trees) and they were absolutely beautiful.

The ones that struck me as significant, though, were the aspens.


Apparently, aspens aren't like other trees...and one of the ways that this is true is how they handle people carving into them.

They develop a kind of scar tissue - and it's the strangest thing I've ever seen. They develop a harder bark around the wound - maybe to heal it from the pain and protect it from the elements? The bark in these areas is obviously still a part of the tree, but it's nothing like the smooth, white bark that surrounds the carvings. In fact, the new scar bark is actually harder than the original bark.

But as I continued to gasp for air reflect along the hike, it hit me that I have a lot to learn from these trees.

I have no doubt that any living thing hurts when something damages it. These trees didn't deserve the damage and hurt done to them. They were just beautiful and innocent. Someone came along and did something selfish. Someone else saw evidence of the pain of the aspen and didn't care. In fact, they added to it.

The aspens? They don't forget...not completely. Each person's mark leaves a significant impression. They are changed forever - scarred.

But they don't stop growing. Even as they heal the old wounds with harder bark, they grow taller with the same soft and supple white bark as they always have. The new growth at the top isn't hardened just because they've been hurt by the other people's transgressions.

The aspens soothe their wounds and yet keep on growing as beautifully as they were before the pain. They don't forget the pain, but they move on. They're changed irrevocably, but they keep going. They were wronged, but they don't let it hold them back from living the best life they can.

So why shouldn't I behave in the same way?

One down, more to go

Joe and I went to Steamboat Springs, Colorado this weekend to celebrate our first anniversary. My friend, Larry, says I can't count it as an anniversary since we're not married, but I say Larry is stupid. :)

Steamboat Springs is about 3 1/2 hours away from Denver and is a quaint little mountain town. Joe and I stayed at a place called the Rabbit Ears Motel...which was a clean and no-frills type hotel. Our room had a balcony that faced the river - which was beautiful. The first night we were there, we decided to open up the sliding glass door and listen to the river run the whole night long. After the taxing events of last week, the solitude and break from the busy world felt decadent.

We chose Steamboat Springs specifically for the hiking opportunity. Specifically, there is a trail that is a 10 1/2 mile roundtrip hike that we wanted to do. Well, really HE wanted to do the 10 1/2 mile hike. I was doubtful that I could complete it, but I figured why not try?

During the hike, we would get to see two waterfalls. This was the first:

Joe and I had heard that it was going to be a tougher hike than just a simple path, but I was not prepared for the grade that it was....this is one picture which shows just how tough of a grade it was...there were times where we had to lift our legs 2-3 feet to reach up to the next food hold.

There were times when I had to take each steep incline one at a time. I'd tell myself to just get over this next incline and then I'd focus on the next. One down, but many more to go.


I'm not going to lie to you...Joe and I made a lot of "old people" sounds when we got back to the hotel. You know the type - the groaning when you get out of the car, the groaning when you stand up, and the sighing of relief when you lay down on the bed.

We had a great dinner that night where I had Peking Duck (something that I had never had before, but I felt adventurous) and then walked around downtown and had a scoop of gelato.

The next morning, we decided to walk around the river just outside of our hotel for a bit of exercise before returning home.

Like I said before, the trip was fantastic...just what the doctor ordered - to celebrate our anniversary (one down, many more to go!) and to shake some of the blues away.

When we got back into town, we were able to gather Chassis' freshly washed beds, her food, and several toys and treats to donate to a favorite rescue of mine. It's still sad - for both of us - and we definitely shed more than a few tears this weekend because we miss her still so much. But we're going through all of the stages of grief as well as can be expected.

I'm looking forward to getting back into our new normal way of life. There are many opportunities that I have passed on over the years because I knew that I had to let Chassis out after work or knew that she needed her medications at a certain times during the day. Now I can take any yoga class I want at any time I want. I can run after work or before work. My schedule is more free. And even though I would trade all of those conveniences to have her back, I think it's okay to make the best of this new found freedom.

Scale this morning says I'm down another pound or so even after eating some wonderful Mexican food last night. So, yet again, one down, many more to go.

Cherry Creek Sneak, take 2

This past weekend, I ran the Cherry Creek Sneak, which can either be a 5K or a 5 mile run.

Last year, I did the 5K - and walked the entire thing due to some knee pain that I was having. This year, I did the 5 mile run.

Had I ever ran five miles at once? No. But I've come close and figured that it wouldn't be that big of a deal.

Just so you know, I was STUPID. So whatever you do, if you want to run 5 miles on any given morning, do NOT do what I did. What I did do was go to Hacienda Colorado (a local Mexican restaurant) and overate the night before. In addition to eating a ton of chips and almost my whole entree, I had two (count 'em TWO) margaritas. I did not drink enough water.

I woke up with a headache hangover. Because I was still full from the night before, I didn't eat anything.

But I ran anyway.

Again, not a smart way to start a run.

The parking for this thing is ca-razy so Joe was nice enough to drop me off near the start line. He's done this at one previous race - the plan is: he drops me off, parks and reads a book, and then picks me up when I'm done.

Around mile 4.5, I was completely out of steam. And that's when I heard "Yay Anne! Keep going! You're doing great!" I turned my head - sure that it was someone else calling out to their friend - when I saw Joe, cheering just for me.

It felt amazing.

I picked up my pace and kept going strong to the end - where I finished in a little over an hour.

You may notice from the graph that it says I ran 5.5 miles. Some of that is probably attributed to the fact that when you're running in races, you can't really run in a straight line. There is a lot of running around people who are walking or pushing strollers...and sometimes you have to take the longest path between two points (kind of like the runners on the outermost lane of the track). I also am not 100% certain that my Nike+ is calibrated correctly when I'm running on the road. On the treadmill it's right on...but on the pavement? Maybe my path is wonky.

But I finished. I ran the whole thing.

Anyway, when we got back home, I made Joe take a new picture of me - since last year's race was where I opted to draw the comparison between my "before" picture and my "during" picture. Sorry the picture of me is so dark...Joe took it with his iPhone (known for it's handy apps, not necessarily for it's pretty picture taking).

Without further ado, here are my progress pictures:

This picture was taken early spring of 2008:

This picture was taken just after the Cherry Creek Sneak, end of April of 2009:


And this one? Taken Sunday - after the Cherry Creek Sneak, April 2010:

Not a lot of difference between the last two pictures...probably only 10 pounds, but I definitely have toned! My legs are smaller...and I tried to position them similar to how I had them in the first picture...with one leg slightly in front of the other one. I tried to hold my arms out to show the actual outline of my body, but the large shirt just kind of hung off of them making me look a tad disproportionate.

At first I was bummed because I wanted accurate during pictures - and then I realized that if it really is about health, this time around, then who cares about accuracy in pictures? I feel better, I run farther, I'm in better shape, and I am happier.

THAT is what success looks like anyway.

What blissful looks like

I love my boyfriend. I know, this isn't news to you, but it is a statement of my constant happiness for the past week. In fact, some of you may be gagging or hitting "Mark as read" in your Google reader because you're tired of me yapping about him.

But it's a new thing for me. I guess I never knew the simple comfort and joy that you can feel by falling asleep and waking up with the person that you love night after night.

The other day, my alarm went off, and as I rolled over to hit the snooze, he rolled with me and we got to cuddle until the alarm went off again.

I know, it may not last. I know, this is silly and it's probably normal when you first start staying with someone.

But oh, how it's exactly what I had always hoped for, but never thought I could have.

This whole realizing that I'm worth it thing? It's fantastic. It allows me to completely enjoy him and us. I've never felt this at home with myself and with my love for someone else. It's all consuming and incredibly freeing at the same time.

Blissful doesn't even begin to cover it sometimes, just in case you were wondering.

Hey, I put some new shoes on and suddenly everything's right

Last year, I bought my first pair of running shoes. Sure, I've technically bought shoes for running before...but how I usually picked them out was this:

1. Walk into a store that sold all types of shoes
2. See a cute pair of "running" shoes
3. Try on said pair of shoes
4. Try to determine if they hurt or not
5. Buy them if they don't hurt
6. Wear them all the time

In case it isn't clear, my previous motivation of buying running shoes was, most certainly, not for running. The highest priority (of course) was whether they looked cute or not.

Last year, when I started getting more active, I opted to go into a running store specifically FOR runners called The Boulder Running Company. This store works completely differently...and for a good reason.

First, you walk in and tell the salesperson that you want running shoes. You give him your shoe size and he brings out a random pair of shoes that are "neutral" - meaning they don't have any corrective padding or shaping to them. You try them on. If they don't hurt, he takes you over to the treadmill (that they have in the store) and you jog for a minute. After that, you sit and watch the video of you jogging (feet only) which is just about the most boring home video ever.

During the video (where no popcorn is served), you get to learn if you under or over pronate, if your gait is crazy, and or if there are any other issues to be aware of. If there aren't (as there wasn't for me), you buy the pair of shoes.

Now, for the price of the shoes, you may be tempted (as I was) to never wear them because they're so expensive...and perhaps that is what I did to a certain extent.

I felt that it was a smart purchase. When I started adding running into my routine, I ran with confidence knowing that my shoes were right for my body and feeling that I was less likely to have an injury. But I made sure to never wear them unless I was running. I didn't want to "wear out" the shoes faster than necessary.

It's been a year. And according to my Nike+ account, it's been 264.87 miles (if you want to get exact). All on the same pair of shoes...which is not very smart.

So, this past weekend, I went to the same store and got my new running shoes. They're no prettier than the last pair I bought. And unfortunately, they're not less expensive. The salesperson took a look at my old ones and cautioned me to run as long on these - saying that the chance of injury is greater if I run on shoes that are that "shot."

In my defense, I had planned to replace them for Christmas...I asked for money from my mom for shoes. But then my dog got sick again around Christmas and it seemed like a smarter thing to put off the running shoes. I really didn't know how long shoes were good for - so I was just guessing that they needed to be replaced.

After talking with the salesperson, I have a much better idea how long they're supposed to be good for and I know what to look for when they're starting to give.

The good news? I ran on the treadmill and we checked my gait. Everything is still fine. Brooks shoes seem to fit me better than others so I'm happy.

The weird thing is that I'm proud that I only used my shoes for running. I'm proud that I got a lot of use out of them...and I'm proud that I just invested more money in me -and my health.

For your listening pleasure, I've also put a song in this post that I think is groovy and about new shoes. :)

Running o' the Green...err...Running in the White

This past week has been a doozy for me. But I think that I got out of my unhealthy mindset and turned my healthy mindfulness back on. I'll write more about that later, though.

What I wanted to report back was that this weekend I ran my very first 7K.

To be honest, I didn't want to. I thought of eleventy hundred reasons I didn't want to...eleventy hundred reasons of why I shouldn't have to.

To start, I've never run a 7K. Ever. Not even on my own (i.e. not during a race). In fact, I've never even run 4 miles in a row, so running 4 and a half? What was I thinking?

Also, last week (you know, the week where I ate like complete crap) resulted in a gain of 5 pounds. FIVE POUNDS! And I only ran once - and that was on Friday at around 2.8 miles. Not exactly the best lead up to my first 7K. That was a good reason to quit.

When I checked the weather report the night before, it indicated that it would be in the 20s for the race and would be snowing in the middle of it. Are you kidding me? No WAY am I going!

I set my alarm for the next morning anyway. I took the dog for a walk to do her business. And I decided to "nut up." I got on my gear, took a quick picture of myself in the elevator on the way down to the street, and took a bus to the race start line.

Only aparently, 50 thousand other people had the same idea. I'm not kidding you. They announced that we had over the capacity of Coors Field already registered for the race. And I was one of about two thousand that hadn't yet received my number and timing chip - so I had to wait in a crazy long line. In fact, the line was so long (and poorly managed), that I didn't even get to start the race on time. I didn't even get to run with all of the walkers that started their race 15 minutes after mine started.

Surely that was reason enough to quit, right? I didn't get to have the high of starting in a group of people. I didn't get the adrenaline bump that you get when you start races. AND I knew that my boyfriend was at home, warm, in bed, and would love to snuggle with me. I already had the t-shirt. No one would know.

But no. I was here. Who cares if I don't get my official time? I mean, it's not like I was going to PR (personal record) the thing, right? So I ran it anyway.

I ran through literally thousands of people that were walking - people that were walking with their dogs, pushing their kids in strollers, or in general being zig-zaggedy about how they were walking. I added a lot of mileage just running around people.

I ran up some major hills with some really tough gradation (see this post to read about my first biking experience on one of those hills). Of course, this meant that I got to run down the same hills (which sounds like more fun than it actually is).

In the middle of it, my left foot had a horrible pain in my arch - almost like it was cramping up. I tried to run through the pain, but it eventually hurt so bad that I went to the side of the road, untied my shoe, and massaged it - hoping to ease it's pain. After about 45 seconds of that, I tied up the shoe and continued running. And I didn't stop my iPod at all (I run with Nike+ software -which allows you to pause your workout at times like these when you're...well...pausing. That means that you could technically cut out the non-running time to get a more accurate pace and time).

So I ran...mostly. I walked, two times - when the hills were so tough and my arch was cramping so badly that I needed to take it easy - but each time, it was for about 15-30 seconds.

See the even pace and then the decline at the end? I actually ran a lot faster (covered more distance) at the end. Because Nike+ actually measures the distance by number of steps (which you can calibrate) it thinks that my longer stride (and therefore more time between steps) is me running slower. Basically, it just means that I probably need to calibrate it again. The distance was longer than a typical 7K because I actually started the time when I started running, which was (stupidly) well before the start line of the race.

And at the end? It was snowing. My fingers were freezing and I couldn't wait to get home, get a hug, and hop in a hot shower. So it wasn't a "running of the green" as much as it was a "running in the white." :)

I'm proud that I finished. I'm proud that I completed something that I wanted to do. I'm proud that despite a bunch of reasons to quit, I didn't.

I accomplished a goal yesterday. And it feels great.

Up a little, down a lot

My Weight Watchers meeting was last night...and I gained 1.6 pounds.

I hate going to the meetings when I gain. I hate walking into the facility knowing that I am heavier and knowing that I'm farther back in my goals than I'd like to admit.

But something happens EVERY TIME I get off the scale after I've gained.

The world keeps spinning. People laugh. Babies are born.

And no one, excluding myself, cares that I gained.

I know why I gained - it's easy. My week was filled with good foods and next to no exercise. I'm not a doctor or a nutritionist, but I'm pretty sure that eating more than you should and moving less means that you end up gaining.

This past week I've had a lot of ups and downs. I've ridden this rollercoaster of emotions tied to my facility being shut down and us not knowing anything. At one point last week, I was fully prepared to take any job they offered me.

And then?

Well, then I spent the weekend with my boyfriend. My sweet, wonderful, loving, fantastic, and supportive boyfriend. And then? Well, then I didn't want to leave at all.

He and I went snowshoeing for the first time this weekend and it was a bunch of fun and a good work out. It's kind of a pain in the butt to go so far away (four hour round trip) but we were so blessed to have friends that lent us the snowshoes, poles, and even a pack to put our water and granola bars in. We got to try the sport for free and although it's not something I can see us doing often, it was a bunch of fun and something neat to mix up our exercise.

And because I can't possibly be the only person who wonders what people out there in the blog-o-sphere look like, here is a picture of us outside snowshoeing (you'll have to trust me on that one) while it was snowing.
Today marks one week from when we found out that the facility is closing...and I've mourned and worried enough for now. I've been down a lot this past week...but today I'm taking my life back.
Sure, I'm still a little worried about what is to come. I am applying for jobs here in Denver daily - hoping that something will turn up where it is a job I'd like, that it pays more than what I'm making now, and that it is here in Denver.

I'm not so naive to think that there are oodles of those jobs out there, but it just takes one, right?

And today, I've gotten back on track exercise and eating wise. I've packed my sensible lunch. I've packed snacks. I've brought my running gear so that I can run in 40 degree weather at lunch. Will I be cold? Probably. I know that after taking two weeks off, I won't run as fast or as far.

But it will feel SO good to get back into the swing of things.

They're just numbers

I'm pretty proud of myself.

Actually, I could start a completely different post from there - mostly because growing up I always felt that to be proud of yourself meant that you thought you were better than someone else. Since that was bad, being proud of yourself must be bad.

These days, I'm realizing how good it feels to actually *be* proud of myself.

Anyway, I've run the past three days at lunch and am *thrilled* with my reaction to the running. I'm not saying that it's going to be like this forever, but these days, I run more because it is a stress relief rather than something that I *must* do to get fit.

One day this week, I ran at a pace that was so much slower than normal that I was actually surprised that I wasn't disappointed. It's funny how not basing my worth on numbers (weight, pace, time, inches, etc.) feels so much better. I recognized that the pace was slower but it didn't diminish the great feelings that accompanied running, moving my body, relieving the stress, and getting away from the office. Those things were great...so what if my pace was slower? I'm better for having done it - slower or not.

Yesterday, I ran and the colors of the changing leaves struck me as so pretty, I wanted to remember how beautiful and peaceful it was. If only I had a way to remember that moment! Then I did a mental mind slap as I realized I had a tool with me - I could stop and take pictures with my iPhone.

And then I thought, "But wait! Taking pictures with my phone means that I will have to stop running! It means that I'll have to stop my pace! I've never tried pausing my running with the Nike+. What if it loses all the data? WHAT IF THE DATA IS MESSED UP?!?"

The next thought was this: "Fuck it. They're just numbers."

Here is the best of the pictures I took:

Clearly, I didn't do the view justice...but it was gorgeous. You'll have to trust me on that one.

And actually, that's kind of how I feel about my future...because the view from here? It's gorgeous, too.

Let's put a notch under the win column, shall we?

I am so excited!

This past week has been AMAZING for me.

Before I get ahead of myself, allow me to say that I recognize that these times can be fleeting. I realize that this may not last. I had MANY more of these weeks when I first started to lose weight so the fact that I'm feeling this great 14 months into my health kick is FANTASTIC. I am SO excited that this is how I'm feeling RIGHT NOW that I just want to post about it.

I ran a fantastically fun 5K this weekend - one where people dressed up like David Hasselhoff, German maidens, and toilets. I had a great time...they even served a beer after the race to all participants. After posing for this picture (and taking two celebratory sips), I trashed it.

You guys have to know that my time got better by 1:20 - that's a MINUTE AND TWENTY SECONDS - from two weeks ago, when I ran the last 5K. Thanks to the wonder of my Nike+, I found that I ran my first mile in 9:15. In fact, after I heard that time, I slowed my pace - because I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to run the whole thing at that rate. I ran the whole thing in 35:28 - and I am SO proud of myself.

My eating? On track. I have been monitoring points, tracking as much as I feel necessary. But truthfully? I'm finding that the days that I eat mindfully are the days that I'm not eating like crazy at night.

I'm (GASP!) listening to my body.

And what I'm finding is that I'm picking foods that are good for me - ones that fuel my body. I've taken SOME of the emotion out of eating.

Can I just say that I feel marvelous? Okay then. I do. Pieces are starting to fall into place.

My boyfriend seems to love to eat out...and I've started actually ordering something that sounds good - but also something that is similar to what I would have if I'd have been home.

If I've been tired, I've concentrated on getting sleep. If I've been cranky, I've asked for a hug. If I've needed a listening ear, I've called a friend. I've been good to me.

The scale says that I'm down today - which is great, seeing as how I weigh in shortly...but more than that, I FEEL healthier - mind, body, and spirit.

I've tried this past week...and it has felt WONDERFUL to feel like I've succeeded. We've all had weeks where we've tried and fallen very short of our goals. So the success this week? It WAS well earned and just the kind of push that I needed to gain momentum.

Watch out, world. Because right about now, I feel invincible.

The Aflac IronGirl 5K

Yesterday I ran the Aflac IronGirl 5K here in Denver and it was, in a word, amazing!

First, there were almost 1300 women running the race. It was a race for, in celebration of, and by women. I think that's pretty cool.

My friend Kelly decided that she wanted to do it too. We walked a race in April together and I so appreciate her wanting to do stuff like this. She actually opted to walk this 5K, so I ran and then cheered her on as she got close to the finish line.
So how'd I do? I finished the race in 37' 28". The one that I did a few weeks ago, I finished in 37'32". So I'm 4 seconds faster. :)

The previous race actually had MUCH less hills in it than this one did, so I know that I was stronger this time around.

BUT the really great thing is that Kelly and I went out to eat for breakfast afterwards and what did I order? An egg white omelette full of veggies, tomato slices, and wheat toast. It was fantastic. I'm proud of this because sometimes when I exercise, I use it as a way to forgive myself for anything else that I might eat. So eating what I normally would've eaten was a great thing for me to do.

I'm trying to learn that eating out just means that you're changing the location of where you're eating - you don't actually have to eat differently than what you would at home. Logically that makes sense. But sometimes, when I want to celebrate, I get confused between the emotions of celebrating and the tradition of food that usually accompanies it.

So yesterday? It was a start.

Oh - and the guy that I've been dating? We got together last night and ate at Souper Salad. I love that he is supportive of me and my efforst in getting healthier. I love that he doesn't act in any way, shape, or form, that he is dissatisfied by the way I look- in fact, he compliments me. And I love the fact that the concerns I had of us clicking chemistry-wise have been retired. He is great and this just may be the healthiest relationship I've ever been in.

A measure of success

I'm pretty proud of myself this past week.

I paid attention to my feelings and tried (and was successful sometimes) with breaking that cycle between feeling and eating.

The scale says I'm down today - and that's pretty consistent with how I feel. I feel that I've been more in control of my emotions this week. And because of that, I've tried to focus on the concept that food is just for fuel...not for filling emotions. This week was pretty successful, and my goal is to try to continue that through this next week too.

I'm sure that running 13 miles this past week didn't hurt either.

Speaking of, this past weekend was the first 5K that I ran all the way through...and I'm pretty proud.

Here's me finishing the race...

Here's me clicking off my Nike+ to get the time. Because I was farther back in the pack when we started (there were 3000 people there!) and due to my weaving on the course, I actually ran closer to 3.5 miles...at 10'47" a mile. That's faster than what I've been in a long time...and I coudln't be prouder!

Here's me after the race ended...and this shirt? It's a LARGE. No extra's here...

I'm trying to decide if I want to do another 5K this weekend or if I just want to wait until August 8th, which is the Aflac IronGirl race....

Prepare yourself...I'm about to brag. :)

I am so proud of myself! :)

Today I participated in the Cherry Creek Sneak, which is either a 5K or a 5 mile run depending on what you want to do. I did it with my friend, Kelly, who was okay with walking pretty much the whole thing. I feel okay because I know that if my knees were doing better, I would've run the whole thing. So next year? Watch out, baby! :)

Because parking was absolutely nuts, I had to walk quite a ways just to get to the start of the race (which is why my total on the right is almost 4 miles). And even though it says my average pace was about 15 minutes/mile, that's not bad because there were times when we had to walk so slow because SLOOOOOOOOOW people were in front of us. There's nothing wrong with slow people...I just don't want to be behind them. This is why I can't stand shopping malls, especially around Christmas.

And here I am looking WAAAAAAAY thinner than what I was a year ago.

My friend Kris told me to check out pictures when I get discouraged...and she's right - I really have come a long way. :) To give you an example, here I was a little over a year ago: