Thursday, September 30, 2010

Introducing...the deficit!

First, thank you so much for the outpouring of support from my last post.

Your comments, emails, and phone calls have meant more to me than I can express here.

Here's what I now know (and if you'd like, feel free to envision little uterine fibroids as the bullet points):

  • The fibroid is bigger than they thought.  Because of this, they're going to go the traditional route and do a "normal" surgery where they cut along my bikini line so that I will be able to wear bikinis without a scar showing. 
    Confession: This totally cracks me up.  I've never worn a bikini in my life and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to start now.  Also?  Since I'm assuming that they're going to have to shave the incision area, I'm totally going to ask for a "hairstyle."
  • I believe the surgery will be October 28th.  It'll be confirmed later today, but that's what it looks like. 
    Confession: Maybe instead of a "hairstyle" request, I'll just shave a jack-o-lantern in the hair with which to surprise the surgeon in honor of Halloween.  Perhaps a happy face?  OOOH!  Candy corn?
  • I should be out 6 weeks.  If I can get it to 7 weeks, I won't have to come back to work until January of 2011 (because I also have almost two weeks of vacation still to use).  This would be awesome.
    Confession: I really am hoping it drags to 7 weeks because that would be like the best Christmas present ever, except for Jesus of course.
    Second Confession: This makes me a bit giddy.  Sure, I know it's going to suck for the first few weeks, but I also get to read.  And watch Netflix.  And sleep.  I can't remember the last time that I had 6 weeks off in a row.  I'm guessing I was 14 - because I know I had a summer job when I was 15.  First on the list of things to do: read the rest of the Harry Potter books and figure out a fail-proof method to determine the baby daddy of the people that show up on the Maury show BEFORE he announces it.  Like I said on my other blog, it's good to have goals.
  • I might not be able to fly to my dad's (Chicago) for Thanksgiving.
    Confession: It might be a bit of okay.  I always travel or entertain for the big holidays.  It might be nice to just spend it with Joe and his grandparents.  Even if they smell like old people.
  • I joke when I'm a bit nervous.
    Confession: I'm a bit nervous. 
  • I'm so glad I didn't get that job that I interviewed for a month ago.  Can you imagine being in Ghana and having this pop up as an issue?  I hear Netflix doesn't even deliver there!
    Confession: I'm thankful that the job didn't work out...and it gives me faith that whatever happens in this situation will end up okay too.
  • I feel weird having this fibroid inside me.  It feels alien and foreign.  Joe suggested that we name it something.  I asked "What do you call something that grows and grows, that no one wants, and that you want to get rid of?"  Joe's response: THE DEFICIT.
    Confession: Joking about it helps.
  • I cry sometimes because I'm scared.
    Confession: Crying about it helps.
  • Chances of getting a hysterectomy is low, I assume.
    Confession: This will be one of the first things on my mind when I regain my brain after surgery.  I will breathe a lot easier when I know that I have all my lady bits.  This is one of the things I'm most worried about.
So there you have it - a status update. 

I'm doing okay.  Except when I'm not. 

I'm going to do all sorts of abdominal exercises between now and the surgery date so that hopefully I will heal better and faster than expected.

I'm going to continue with the 100 Day Challenge: training for my 10K, taking my vitamins, and washing my face each night.  I'm going to still keep working with my therapist to overcome the "big" issues.   so that 2011 will be my best year yet...sans The Deficit.


Katy said...

Get rid of the defecit! My vote is for a candy corn.

Vb said...

Hey, if this thing is bigger then "bigger than a softball," I bet it weighs a lot. I think you may have stumbled upon every overweight persons holy invisible growth that is clearly throwing the scale off! Except yours is real.

Seriously though, I know this is serious, and wish you a speedy recovery.

Jams said...

I'm agreeing with Katy... definitely candy corn. Hey, doctors need to smile too. :p

I'm glad that you've gotten some answers and I'll hope that it stretches for 7 weeks as well because having that time off would be awesome... and you need to heal.

Bye bye deficit!

Lesia said...

You crack me up. I am going to have my hubby read this one I know he would get a chuckle like I did. The whole hair stylist part was hilarious though.

I know the Lord has our future all planned out for us. And you NOT getting that job just goes to show He is watching over you.

I will be praying for you too. And while you are trying to find the daddy's of pregnant womens' babies could you possibly locate my grand babies daddy's. There are 5 of them who are in need of a daddy..Thanks. Love ya!

Debbie said...

My vote is for the candy corn Seriously though you will be glad it is gone and you will probably lose some weight in the process. I had 5 of them cut out last year, but I let them take everything. I am just glad it was not to serious. Hugs to you... :)

Gina said...

Always so honest. Wish you well...the BEST & 7 weeks & lots of reading & whatever else you want to wish for. Way to keep a positive & "real" attitude. Your struggles will help somebody I bet!

Finding The Thin Within said...

so glad to see your sense of humor is still intact! Just think of all the time you will have to blog! =)

Praying for a good outcome, and a few less pounds along the way...

<3 Katie

Karen said...

I love how you can laugh about this:) I just don't think about mine in there. When I go to the gyno, she always wants me to feel it. Yuck! I am shuddering just thinking about it. Think of all the time you can spend in blogland!

Misspudding said...

Good luck, sweetie! You're one of the strongest babes I know, so you'll come out of this kicking and screaming, in a good way of course. :)

How about a ghost instead of a jack-o-lantern. Not as difficult.

Lanie Painie said...

Did you take a list of questions with you because I am left with a lot of important information unanswered.

1. How much does that thing weigh?
2. Why didn't somebody find it before it got that big?
3. Are you going to have hemorrhoids after it's removal just like a c-section?
4. Why doesn't Joe want it named after him? Does he think you've been unfaithful?
5. What do old people smell like?
6. Is it going to be ok if Joe washes your face FOR you for a few weeks after surgery?
7. They're not going to put you in the baby wing of the hospital after surgery are they? Cuz that's just mean.

Love you to pieces and while I'm pissed that you aren't naming it after me (I have fit all of your qualifications until just recently) I look forward to the removal of your little bundle of yuck. Are you keeping it? What color sweater should I knit? Sorry, I don't like to show my feelings to much. I'm sure you know how it is. WATCH OUT FOR THAT VAN!

Mind Over Fatter said...

What an inspiration, your use of humour is amazing. I'm sure it will all work out, including the DEFICIT...and my vote is candy corn too!

Brigitte said...

They say laughter is the best medicine! I hope you can accomplish all your goals for 2010 including "guess the baby-daddy" contest!

krissie said...

This made me laugh. And want to cry. And then laugh again.

I know how hard it is to be in a place with baby stuff when that's not where you are. It's just cruel.

Hang in there, babe. We're all cheering for you.

Oh? And the word verification: jamboomm. That's gotta be a good sign.

Polar's Mom said...

HAHAHAHAH-too damn funny. Jesus!!! HAHAHAHAHA

Polar's Mom

Mrs. Happy Pants said...

I'll have more to say later, but for this brief moment:

You can haz award?
Yes you can!
Come claim it from meeeeeee.

*still thinking and praying for you* <3

Margie M. said...

I had a fibroid in my uterus that was the size of a small cantaloupe. I had the full cut-your-gut surgery so they could remove it. I was 6 years older than you at the time and had already had 2 kids delivered by C-sections (again the full cut-your-gut type), so I know about the surgery part. Don't let people scare you about the surgery and recovery time. If you follow the surgeon's post-operative'll do fine.

I know the fertility issue is paramount at this time, and I did not face I DON'T know about that. I can say that I will pray for a successful surgical outcome and that your ability to conceive will remain intact.

You are precious and I believe you are in God's care and protection. All will be well with you. You are loved!

Margie M. said...

P.S. I never have had hemmorhoids even after 2 C-sections and a hysterectomy. Don't add that issue to your worry list!

The Babe said...

Dude, I have a much better idea. You should dye it hot pink. Or lilac. I am not making this up. The website is When you're done at that site, google "vagazzling"

Your welcome.

Lala said...

I know it's scary, but I love how you bring your humor to the situation. Don't be afraid to lean on your blogger family--we are here for you!!!

TinaM said...

I'm so glad you are feeling better (except when your not!)
Finding humor and looking at the good things is the best thing you can do right now.
I have never been there and have NO advise other than that.
You are in my thoughts and prayers!!!

(I would ask for some pics of the new hairstyle, but I know this isn't THAT kind of blog!!! LMAO! AND don't go showing off the pumpkin to trick or treaters!!! You will end up in jail!!! haha)

TinaM said...

This is a blog of substance if I EVER saw one!!!
Here is your award :)

I think just the 5 words is good enough to except it, I know how you probably have a few piled up lol! (I should have wrote that on every one's...)

julielopez3 said...

I say if you are going to do a hair style.. go all out and do a pussy-cat sitting on a pumpkin. Good luck on your recovery. Now for my experience in this area. I have had 2 C-sections, and a hysterectomy. Ask the Dr. if he is going to stich you closed or use staples. You want stiches, if you have a good surgeon you will not have a scar. Before I had my hysterectomy I read a book that said to lightly rub the area around the incision as soon as you can, and do this several times a day. It brings the circulation back to the area quicker. I woke up with an ice pack on mine apparently I asked for one while in recovery. Then the book said to walk, walk, and walk. So every chance I got in the hospital I got up and walked(shuffled) down the hall. It will be painful the first time you get up, and make sure to have a pillow to put over your incision to grab onto if you need to cough, sneeze or laugh. When I got home I walked every day around the culdesac I live on. When I went for my 2 week check-up my Dr. told me I was completely healed. (incision wise)He had never told me that at my 2 week check ups after C-sections, and the only thing different I did was rubbing the incision in a circular motion 2-3 times a day.
I think you are in such good shape that you should find yourself able to do your race you were looking forward to. Just take every day slowly, and get plenty of rest.
Good luck.. I can't wait to hear what hair style you picked (shaved)

Just Me said...

You are too funny...even with the deficit around. The bikini comment is the best. I have had a hysterectomy due to a "growth" of some sort. Best thing that ever happened to me!

Also, my mother had fibroids removed and she didn't have to have a hysterectomy - best thing that ever happened to her.

Good luck with your surgery. I'm sure you will do well. Oh yeah, and rest afterwards. You may think you can do the things that they say you shouldn't...but don't. Make sure you heal and soon this will be a distant memory.

Janell said...

I didn't read this originally because I hate the word deficit. My dog is getting spayed the same day so I get the night off. Not that means you'll be getting a visit from me though. ;-)