Ugh, double Ugh, Ahhh, and double Ahhh

Ugh
I didn't get the job.  But I didn't NOT get the job.  Basically, they haven't made a decision on me but they want to interview other people in hopes of a better fit.  If they don't find a better candidate, they'll offer it to me.  Honestly?  I am a little bummed because it's nice to be wanted.  But they're worried that they won't have someone free enough to train me.  And after the interview?  I was worried about that too.

I know that good stuff can happen even from sucky situations, so I'm hopeful that something will happen.  I've felt so trapped in my current job.  And I'm sad that my situation may not change anytime soon.

Double Ugh

I'm not going to lie to you.  My eating since yesterday has been bad.  As in really not good.  As in I've had way too many "fun size" candies that I stupidly bought for my co-workers.  Other than that (and the two donuts this morning) it hasn't been horrible. 

I did the whole "look" inwardly thing about WHY I was eating when I wasn't hungry...and I understand why I'm eating.  Truthfully, I still had another few fun size chocolate bars even after I figured it out.  But then I stopped, brushed my teeth and am happily sipping peppermint tea.  I'm not waiting until tomorrow to turn it around...it starts now.

Ahhh
I'm going to my best friend's house this weekend.  She has a bulldog named Princess Buttercup that I have known since she was a puppy.  I call her Butterball or PB.  Just after Chassis died, they got a new bulldog puppy, named Miracle Max (or just Max for short).  I can't wait to be covered in sloppy kisses and to have a dog that just wants to sit at my side and be loved.  I'm bringing some of Chassis' old toys to her.  It will be good, but bittersweet, I'm sure.

My friend and I have no real plans.  We might go to a winery to enjoy a wine tasting. I know we're going to a quilt shop. And I know that we're seeing Max graduate from her puppy obedience class. I plan on clapping the loudest. 

I'm heading out tonight and come back on Tuesday mid-morning.  I'm taking the rest of that day off.  I need it.  My soul needs it.

Double Ahhh
I got three new books at the library this past weekend.  I'm taking two with me on the trip and can't wait to dive into them at the airport.  I'm about 1/4 of the way through the first one, "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett and am really liking it.

I also looked at the weather report (this time, yes, I did look at the right city!) and saw that it will be in the low 70s where I'm going to be at tomorrow.  I've brought my running gear to run tomorrow and the other days if I so choose.  I'm determined not to have my exercise take a vacation too.

To be sure, there will be a trip to Steak N' Shake - something that I only get once a year.  Just like last year, I'm not willing to give it up.  It might work for you - complete restriction...but to me, I want to at least allow for the possibility of food I truly enjoy.  This year though?  I'm getting a junior cheeseburger in addition to the junior malt.  I'm going to enjoy every bite of the food - and if I'm too full to eat it all, I promise to leave some on the table.

Just like when she came to visit me earlier this year, there will be a lot of laughter, some tears, and some soul searching.  It's always like that.

I'm learning to be kind with myself, to give myself a break, and to try to love myself whenever possible.  And while I'm not successful 100% of the time, I'm seeing progress from when I visited my best friend last year.  These yearly visits are a good benchmark for me.

So, have a wonderful weekend! :)