Things I love: Sugar-Free Syrups

Not long ago, I used to frequent my local Starbucks most mornings on my way to work.

I'd get a Skinny Vanilla Latte in varying sizes and it was my own very special treat to start the day.  The skinny latte was less points/calories/fat/sugar than what I could get out of the machine at work.  And since there was no coffee pot where I was living, Starbucks seemed like a viable option.

Is here where I say that I cannot afford daily Starbucks trips?  Okay then.

picture from amazon.com

When I moved into my new place at the end of September, I had a plan.  One of the first things I unpacked was my coffee machine - and the second was opening a box with six different varieties of sugar-free syrups made by Torani.

I LOVE to make my own coffee now.  Sometimes I use flavored coffees (Dunkin' Donuts' Seasonal Vanilla Nut is my current favorite) but I always use a squirt or two of the sugar-free syrups.

First, the variety is nice because it means that it's just one more thing in my day that I get to choose - not have to endure.  I like feeling empowered - and even if it's just with a stupid syrup in the morning, I feel good about getting to pick what I want.

I set up each bottle with it's own pump (I have six bottles but only five pumps - bummer!) and they're neatly stored in my pantry - just waiting to be used. 

I haven't even come close to using even one bottle fully - and since I only have five pumps, I haven't even touched the raspberry flavor.*  So these bottles (at least for me) seem to last a LOOOONG time. Some of the reviews on Amazon indicate that people don't like the Splenda flavor - but I haven't noticed it...probably because I don't use a lot of the syrup...just one pump (or if I'm mixing I use a half pump of one flavor and a half pump of another) in my travel mug is all I need.  They're just a few calories and 0 Points Plus value.

Now, I've read some articles about the benefits of limiting sugar AND sugar-free items from our diets.  I fully believe those studies and claims.  Which is why I try to limit my sugar/sugar substitute intake.  Coffee is one of those things that I love to have just a bit of sweetness in and I don't see myself deviating from that any time soon.

*Sugar-Free Raspberry syrup...yours for the taking for FREE.  Just pay shipping (I have no idea what this would be but it can't be much, right?) and I'll get it to you.  It's never been opened or used...I just don't think I'd enjoy it in my coffee.  Send me an email at happyfunpants [at] gmail [dot]com and I'll be happy to send it to you.

And also? No one from Amazon or Torani knows I'm writing this review.  I wasn't compensated in any way...just wanted to share something that I like. :)

It's funny what dedication can do...

I lost 7.2 pounds this week! :)

I'm super happy right now.  Not because it's a big loss (although, let's be honest, that feels awesome).  Not because it's a lower number (although if my goal is to weigh less, this is a great start).  Not even because I got a five pound sticker.

But because I said I was going to do something and I did it.  Even when it was hard.  Even while having three dates - one of which was to watch the Broncos at our stadium for the playoff win (hello, beer and fatty foods much?).

What I love most is how I feel.  I have more energy and I just feel better inside my own skin.  I'm not as lethargic and I'm sleeping better.

So how'd I do it? 

Well, first, I tracked every single thing I ate.  Even when I overate.  I counted up the points whether I was within my target or not.  I think having to write down every bite helped me be more accountable and mindful of what was going in my mouth.  It made me pause and ask if I was really hungry or if I was feeling something else.

Some days I ate past my points target.  But invariably, the next day I under ate.  Not that it was intentional...it's just the way my body was.  One day I was super hungry and the next I wasn't.

So what'd I learn? 

That I can trust my body.  I still need to eat when hungry.  And I need to stop eating when I'm no longer hungry.  I need to be aware of where my calories are coming from - are they coming from higher protein foods so that I'll be satisfied longer?  Or are they coming from "empty" calories that probably won't last?

I learned that every day, without fail so far, I'm hungry at 10:15 AM.  So I have a snack prepared.  Sometimes it's a hard boiled egg.  Sometimes it's a piece of fruit.  But whatever it is, I have it ready to eat at 10:15.  Trying to white-knuckle it to lunch time leaves me feeling deprived.  Eating a snack mid-morning helps me feel more satisfied at lunch time.

My goal for this next week is to just keep tracking.  Typically tracking isn't my strong point, but I think that it's very helpful to be aware of what is going in my body.  It helps me ask questions like "Is this going to fuel me until I eat again?" "Am I hungry or do I want something else?" "What else have I eaten today that is healthy?"

Those questions (I think) are good no matter what program you're following or implementing.

It's week two of the new year, people.  How are YOU doing?

Review on the new WW Barcode App

About six months ago, I was standing in line to be weighed at my Weight Watchers meeting and a fellow buddy and I were talking about the WW app for our iPhones.

I made the statement that what would be REALLY cool is if you could scan the bar codes on the products and WW would automatically calculate the points. 

Obviously, I don't think that WW is bugging their weigh in lines, but they created the app that I was talking about!

Here's what I know about the app:

1) First of all, it's a separate app.  You have to download it separately. All of the people in my meeting didn't know.  I suspect that has everything to do with the fact that the average person in my meeting is at an age where smart phones aren't exactly "their thing."

2) It works! 

You just align the red bar with the bar code and viola!  It gives you your points plus values in just a few seconds.

I took it to the store last week and used it.  I wanted to get some chocolate pudding from the store and given the nine thousand different varieties, it would've normally taken me a few minutes to enter all the values into my calculator on the app and try to remember which value belonged with which product.  With the bar code scanner, I had my answers within a few seconds and easily picked out the one I wanted.

The cool thing about the scanner is that after you scan the bar code, it actually shows you a mini picture of the product with the description.  It's helpful because it makes it much easier to keep separate items straight when you're comparing points plus values.

To give you an example, I just scanned in my Crystal Light package and put the picture to the right.

Also, if you ever wondered what my keyboard at work looks like, now you know.  See?  I'm a giver.

3) I wish that it was an upgrade to the current WW app and not a separate one.  First, you have to log in every time you use it (the app remembers your user name and password so this isn't a huge deal), but it's just weird that you have to switch back and forth between this app and the regular app to see all of your stuff.

Overall, I'm thrilled with this app and I'm glad that Weight Watchers is striving to make their already award-winning program easier to use.

Get back up!

"Success consists of getting back up just one more time than you fall." -- Oliver Goldsmith

It's one thing to start out the new year saying that you're going to stick to a new game plan.  The fresh vow and promise of a new future are alluring.  And it's exciting to get caught up in the momentum and the thoughts of what could be.

Until you hit your first snag or setback.

Weight loss is simple...but it definitely isn't easy all the time.

Monday night I had plans with a friend for sushi.  I'm not going to lie to you, I ate/drank most of my weekly flext points that night at dinner but it was awesome.  But I tracked all the points.

Tuesday I tracked and stayed within my points range.

But Wednesay night?  That's a whole other story.

It started with me going to Costco this weekend.  I tried a sample of this broccoli slaw salad and although it was heavily dressed, I figured I could just use less dressing.  So I bought the jumbo sized bag.

Well, Wednesday night, I saw the broccoli slaw and thought that that would make a great appetizer.  Only when I looked at the nutrition label I was stumped because the serving size was the whole bag.  And the "bag" included all the veggies, but also dried cranberries, cashews, and the dressing.  I estimated the points to the best of my ability and found that I had already gone over my points for the day.

But I was still sooooo hungry!

So I ate. 

While I think it's good that we eat when we're hungry, I didn't even make the best choices.  Once I realized that I was over my points target, I indulged a bit more. 

I found myself being disappointed.  I didn't even follow the plan two days in a row.  Honestly?  I felt like a failure, if only a little bit.

At the end of the night, I ended up 12 points in the hole for the week.  Especially frustrating since I know that it's going to be difficult to stay within my points range this weekend.

But just like every other day before, the night ended.  And Thursday, in the light of the new morning, I realized I had it in me to stay on track - at least for that day.  Besides, that's all I really have control of anyway, right?  Yesterday has passed.  Today we can start again.

Thursday night ended with me being a bit under points.  Why? Because I wasn't as hungry.

So the thing that I'm happy about today?  Not that I ate less points yesterday than the day before.  Not that I feel so much better today than what I did a week ago by eating less junk.

I'm thrilled that I started over on Thursday morning; I started with the very next meal.  I thought about what might have contributed to my extreme hunger the night before and then I front loaded my day with more protein and points so that I wasn't famished by the time I got home.

I think I'm starting to realize that failure isn't what happens when you fall, it's what happens if you don't get back up.

Things I love: Ice Cubes

People, I'm going to tell you something that you probably already know: I have a sweet tooth.

And unfortunately, I've indulged it VERY OFTEN in the last few weeks.

Christmas candy?  Don't mind if I do!  Baked goods at work?  Yes, please!  And I'm not even going to tell you just how many POUNDS of Skittles I've eaten.

Some of the addiction has been the sugar.  And some of it has been the desire to put something in my mouth and chew it,

I've seen the ads for the Extra Desserts gums and I think I've tried every flavor out there.  Some are WAY better than others (Strawberry Shortcake = pretty good but Key Lime Pie = nastiness).

In my opinion, the Extra Desserts gum flavors fade pretty quickly and they don't have the texture of the gum that is my preference.

But this weekend, when I went to Costco (and did not buy any Skittles), I saw a multi-pack of Ice Cubes made by Ice Breakers.

The flavors that I've tried so far are yummy, they last a long time, and they have more of a springy (traditional smooth gum) texture that I heart.

At 0 calories per cube, they're being my go-to sugar and mouth hungry fix.

Personally, I chew two cubes at a time (I always chew two pieces at a time of pretty much any gum...what?  I have a big mouth!) for maximum awesomeness.

What I also love about the variety pack was the range of flavors...because sometimes I'm wanting something fruity and sometimes having something minty helps me feel more satisfied and finished with my meal.

Like I wrote previously, I know what I have to do to lose the weight.  I just have to do it.  And this is one way to get a sweet tooth or distract my mouth hunger long enough to get past the cravings. 


I don't think cravings are bad or that I should always deprive myself.  But balance is important. With tools like these pieces of gum, I feel like I can be better equipped with choosing which times I want to indulge and which times I don't.

Do you believe?

The topic at my Weight Watcher meeting last night was belief.

As in, the popular quote from Henry Ford: "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”

I know what my leader was trying to do.  She was trying to get us to harness the Jennifer Hudson or Charles Barkley in all of us...she was trying to help us see that with belief we can do anything!

Only that's not really true, is it?

A 17 year old can believe and harness the power of the universe to get a perfect score on her SATs.  But unless she actually studies and learns the material, she's going to be sorely disappointed with the results.

My point is, the universe and belief can only do so much.  The rest?  It's hard work.

When I joined Weight Watchers in July of 2008, I was emotionally overeating often.  I couldn't stop gaining weight and I felt helpless. 

I changed my behaviors such that I could lose weight.  I monitored every morsel of food that went in my mouth and there were definitely days, weeks, and months where I chose unhealthier options to eat just because they were lower in points.

And then I started to get to a place where I felt good about myself.  I started dating. And then all of my hard work went out the window.

Why? Because my belief system about myself was screwed up.  I hadn't really changed my identity, just my behaviors.

I've been slowly gaining weight for the last year and a half. 

AND I've been working on my own internal belief system.

The result is that I'm heavier but happier.  And while I'd probably take me now over me a year and a half ago, I'm really unsatisfied with how I look, how I move, and how healthy I feel.

Encased in this layer of fat, it's easy for me to look in the mirror and feel discouraged.  I have over 90 pounds to lose.  That's the weight of an Olsen twin!

It feels daunting.  It feels discouraging.

The difference is that this time I do believe that I have cleared enough emotional baggage that I can make it farther than I ever have before.

So all that's left is the doing.

Do I believe that I can keep this weight off for the rest of my life?  No.  But I don't not not believe it either...make sense?

And at this point, I need to just do the work.  I need to count up my points, hold myself accountable, and actually move my body.

I'm a realist.  And one of the biggest motivating factors for me is success.  Because when I succeed, I feel like that's applicable again and again.

I may not believe (yet) that I can keep the weight off for the rest of my life.  But I believe that I have the skills to take off the weight.

What's more, I believe that I'm finally worth it.

Resolutions

This past weekend, I went on a really great and special date with a guy.  I won't write much about him yet, since it was only our second date and I'm not quite sure where things are going, but it was a great time.

Early on in the evening, he asked me if I had any resolutions for the new year.  Practical question, no?  And honestly, I kind of was taken aback...because truthfully, I hadn't even thought about it.

I did say that one of the things I wanted to do more of was volunteer my time with/through organizations that I'm passionate about.  And that's true.  That's something that I really do want to do.

He nodded and then said, "Really?  Nothing else?"

Sure, I knew that I could pepper him with lots of things I wanted to do better...but again, the second date may not really be the place to start unloading your personal baggage.

So I said that 2011 was a year of a lot of change for me.  And that I'd really like to build upon those changes, those positive things that I've done, so that I can end 2012 happier and healthier than I started it.

I'm always reluctant to make New Year's Resolutions...I think, in part, because it feels like I'm making a promise.  I mean, I get it, that's the point.  And yet when it comes down to it, I don't like breaking promises. because then I feel guilty.  And who wants to feel guilty about letting themselves down for not making ENOUGH progress?

Not me.

So maybe that's a good resolution for me: To feel guilty less often.

I asked him what his resolutions were and he actually said, "to lose five pounds."  He said it twice during the evening, but to be honest, I'm not sure where he's going to get the five pounds from.  He looks healthy.  I'm not sure what his motivations are for saying it...if it's something that he really believes or something that he thinks everyone typically says.

Whatever the case, I don't want to lose five pounds this year.  I really do want to lose more.

When he asked me out for NYE, I said yes - I mean, I really couldn't think of anyone I was more interested in.  And then he told me what we'd be doing...going to a fancy steak restaurant and then a trendy party where no casual clothes are allowed.

I'm not going to lie to you, I had a few heart palpitations...I mean, what in the hell was I going to wear?  And since I wasn't told what the plans were until Friday morning, I didn't have a lot of places I could go to find a suitable outfit.

Because the fact of the matter is, I don't fit in the clothes that I have for such occasions, not any more.

And that, my dear friends, is a sh!tty feeling.  As if you don't know.

Eventually I scrounged up something that was suitable from my existing wardrobe, but beforehand, I spent HOURS looking for a cute dress that would leave me feeling sexy and ravishing. 

That dress?  Apparently does not exist in Denver.

I really do hate picking myself apart in the mirrors of dressing rooms.  But that can happen at any size.  So maybe that's a good resolution for me: When looking at myself in a mirror, give myself mental compliments before I become critical of my flaws. 

Tonight I go to my Weight Watchers meeting for the first time this year.  I have no clue if I've gained or lost weight.  I haven't tracked or really paid attention to anything.  So I'm thinking that I'll probably have gained.

BUT today I registered for two races.  One is a 7K, The Runnin' O' The Green held in March.  And the other is the Cherry Creek Sneak, a 5 miler held in April.

I miss running; I miss how good it makes me feel.  That's a good resolution for me: Do more things that make me feel good.

And yet, those three resolutions aren't really getting to the heart of my weight problem.

So I'm going to be bold and say that I want to be dedicated to Weight Watchers and myself again.

I want to clean up my eating.  I want to experiment with more foods.  I want to eat less and move more. 

I want to be thinner.

I want to do this the right way, but that involves holding myself accountable. 

So for me, I've decided to put my weight tracker up, front and center, on my page.  And I'm putting two more up - the countdown to my first 5 pound star of the year and my 10% goal.  I'll put all counters up after I weigh in tonight, so the data is accurate from the get go.

I'm also putting up some reminders in my house and car.  Staying focused on my goals always helps me.

The last piece of the accountability is blogging about it.  Updating my weight loss here, weekly, is going to help me.  It may just be a post script at the bottom of the page, but I'm going to do it. I know that disclosing the numbers will help me celebrate the small losses that I'll have.  It'll build my momentum and my confidence.

If 2011 was a year of changes interally, 2012 can be my year of external changes.  Doing more - to help myself and others is something I have a lot of passion for.  And I can't wait to show it.

Going down...

Last night I weighed in at my meeting and I found that I had lost 2.2 pounds!

Mostly, I'm excited because last week was a pretty rough week for me emotionally...and there were many times that I felt lots of different emotions even within the span of an hour.

For starters, I got a really craptastic email from Joe on Monday where I'm not sure he could've been more passive agressive should he have tried.  This came in right around the same time that I received a text that brushed off Mr. Wonderful.  Those came right after I found out that my boss who drives me bat-crap crazy is now coming into the office full time.

So basically, Monday kind of blew...and even though I tried to make it better, the week just never really recovered.  But you know what?  When I was sad, I cried.  And when I was happy, I laughed.  And when I wasn't hungry, I didn't eat.

That's the trend I hope to follow this week... it's so easy to say, but it's so hard to do sometimes. 

So, in case there is someone else out there wondering how I did it, I'll share what helped me. 

I really just tried to be aware of what I was feeling.

I've heard countless times that people should ask themselves if they're really hungry before eating something.  That doesn't work for me.  I can't, when faced with a delectable dessert, ask myself if I'm really hungry or (taking it a step further) what I'm really hungry for.  It just doesn't work for me.  I'm too flooded by saliva to make sane decisions and I usually just dig right in and tell myself that I'll try to figure it out later.

What HAS worked for me is to practice asking myself how I feel.  I do it so often that I'm not even aware of me consciously having to think that.

The benefit of this regular check-in is that I'm at least partially aware of how I'm feeling before I start being faced with food.

Sometimes the answer just comes back as "tired."  Well, that's great information to know and be aware of...I mean, if faced with a donut and sugar-laden coffee later, I'd probably be overly tempted to consume it.  But if I'm aware that I'm tired, it's somehow easier for me to make a logical decision and pass it up.

If the answer comes back that I'm sad, I try to sit with that feeling as long as possible before "doing" something about it.  I've felt that a lot this past week - and each time I've done a little something different.  I've hugged my cat, I've called friends, I've watched TV, I've journaled, and I've done something nice for somoene else. 

I make this distinction, of trying to be aware of my feelings rather than aware if I'm hungry, because for me THAT way is easier.  I realize that it's a bit like the proverbial chicken and the egg scenario, but being aware of my feelings BEFORE temptations arise, helps me tend to myself quicker before I'm salivating and struggling with decisions.

Make sense?

This week, I have a lot of stuff going on.  Lots of appointments packed into this week and get togethers with friends.  Somehow I need to finish my Christmas shopping and maybe even send out Christmas cards.

So I can't promise that I'll track appropriately or even keep around my points target.  But I can make a concerted effort to continue what feels right and good...and checking in with myself, being gentle and kind to myself, feels like an excellent Christmas gift.

It's a new dawn, it's a new dayyyyyyyyyy

Isn't this a weight loss blog?  I thought so.  Then let's get to it, shall we?

Monday night, Weight Watchers unveiled it's new and improved plan.  And apparently, it meant that the smaller ladies in our group had their points decreased...and I couldn't believe how upset people were (but that's a different rant for a different day).

At any rate, as my leader was talking about the changes, and people were complaining or getting cranky, I had sort of an out-of-body experience.

I realized that I have been sitting in the same seat, making jokes, being supportive, and yet pretty much at the same weight for the last 6 months, give or take a few pounds.

And as I sat there, I realized that if I didn't change something NOTHING (including my weight) was going to change.

The magic isn't in the meetings - it's in the actions. 

Well, DUH.

My weight was down over two pounds each of the last two times I weighed in.  And that included the week of Thanksgiving.  Where I was at my mom's the whole time. Where there were candy bars, a day where I didn't get out of my fun pants, and fatty foods.

But I lost 2 pounds over Thanksgiving week.  How?  Well, I ramped up my activity.  And I ate when I was hungry and didn't eat when I wasn't.

So this brings me back to my age old dilemma of:

Do I practice intuitive eating or do I count points?

The last time I counted points, religiously, was 6 months ago.  Know what I was doing then?  LOSING WEIGHT.

The last time I practiced intuitive eating I lost weight.

So pretty much both approaches work.  And it's about darn time that I stop trying to force myself into anything.*  And THAT is one of the reasons why I really do like the new plan.  You can switch from "Simply Filling" (i.e. an intuitive eating type approach) to the points plan daily and vice versa.

So here's what I've decided - at least for this week.  I'm going to pay attention to my body and eat foods that are good for me when I'm hungry.  And I'll go ahead and count the points to see how it matches up.

Last night, I met up with a good friend for what was supposed to be just drinks and maybe dinner.  It turned into an appetizer, a small portion of dinner, and a LOT of beer.  But it was exactly what I wanted at the time.  I had an awesome time...and after being brushed off by the douche canoe, I enjoyed every moment of it.

This morning, I counted up the points and realized that I used almost all of my weekly points.  Eh.  That's what they're for, right?

I feel good about the things that I can control and good about the things I can't.

I actually feel at harmony with things in my life...and I know that when I feel at peace, my eating is cleaner and much easier.

The whole health concept...there just might be something to it. :)

*OMG.  Seriously?  I heart this sentence.  It's applicable to every area of my life.

Well, that sucked.

Know how people are all, "Give nice guys a chance?" 

For the past 15 years, thought I did... but I guess I never really did.  The last few months, I've had an opportunity to look back at the guys I've chosen routinely and realized that they've all had some serious issues right from the get go. 

The ones I've picked to stay with had issues with intimacy, issues with their moms, issues with their dads, or issues with me.  But in all cases, they strummed a chord right on my heart strings - that chord being: "Stay.  Help Me.  Fix me."

And apparently that chord always works with me.

In truth, it doesn't mean that they weren't nice, but it does mean that they had some red flags.

So each time, when something ended, I found myself inching the door to the possibility of a lasting love a little more closed.  I have believed that those dreams - those nice things - weren't for me. 

The guys I passed up?  They were the nice ones.  The guys who treated me the way I should be treated - right from the get go.  But the chord that they strummed never seemed melodic to me. I chalked it up to the chemistry not being there and moved on.

Ending the relationship with Joe, was a great time to realize that the problem wasn't with ME.  It's with the people I've continually picked.  Which, okay, WAS with me.  But hopefully you get what I mean.

I took the time to re-calibrate my heart strings. And I realized that the ones that called for help weren't quite as melodic as I had thought.  And the ones that offered genuine feelings of happiness and love sounded better than I ever believed.

So this past month, when I had the opportunity to really look love in the eyes, I did.

It started with a wonderful question - something along the lines of "Are you ready, really ready to be in love?  Are you ready in your heart and your mind?"

I looked within me, brushed off my newly re-vamped heart strings, and answered, "Yes."

And it was WONDERFUL. The act of falling in love is an amazing feeling.  It's fast, it's all consuming, and it feels beautiful.  Like my blinders have been ripped off my eyes - and now I could start to see life's full beauty - which includes ME.

I found myself peering through the crack in the door to lasting love.  I found myself lured by it's charm.  I started to (gasp!) hope.  And when my brain tried to tell my heart to slow down, I reminded it that THIS type of story happens to others.  Why not me?  Why not us?  Why not now?

We even said several times that it felt like we were 15 again - to feel like the whole world was ahead of us and that we could figure out anything that came our way.

To me, it felt like the first part of a drop on a roller coaster ride.  I was scared, white-knuckling it...until something inside me encouraged me to just let go; to just enjoy it.

And oh, how I enjoyed it.  Because that feeling?  It's amazing; intoxicating; heart-stoppingly beautiful.

Until it wasn't.

Realistically, I've recounted the weirdness of what happened many times with my friends and they all believe that something is clearly going on with him.  And from the stories he told me about some of the girls that he met, they all reacted with similar disbelief when things ended.  Judging from the outside looking in, this seems to be his MO.

So, logically, I know it's not me.  Or maybe it is.  But I know that even if his opinion of me and us changed that quickly, it doesn't have anything to do with me.  Yeah, yeah...maybe he got scared...but maybe he was just playing me.  Maybe he's just damaged goods with entirely too high of standards.  No matter how hard I try, I can't figure out what happened.

Because to me, even if I got weird vibes or mixed messages, I'd want to ride the roller coaster again.

But eesh.  It still hurts.  Just like the heartbreaks of 15 year olds.

So how is it that I'm more upset about things ending with a man that I haven't known nearly long enough than ones that I've stayed with for entirely too long?

Because my heart strings strummed a song that seemed to be in tune with his (and even I puked in my mouth with how cheesy that sounded).  But that tune? It was one of the most amazing things I've felt and heard.

So here I am.  Sad, disappointed, and hurt.  Maybe this is the rebound relationship effect.  Or maybe it's because we really could've made it work.

But I do know this: I need time to repair the damage - to re-tune my heart strings and repair my pride.

So that the next time a nice guy asks if I'm really ready - for love and all the wonders it holds - I'll have the courage to say yes.  I'll have the courage to walk through that door, down the aisle, and wherever else that path leads.