Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Going down...

Last night I weighed in at my meeting and I found that I had lost 2.2 pounds!

Mostly, I'm excited because last week was a pretty rough week for me emotionally...and there were many times that I felt lots of different emotions even within the span of an hour.

For starters, I got a really craptastic email from Joe on Monday where I'm not sure he could've been more passive agressive should he have tried.  This came in right around the same time that I received a text that brushed off Mr. Wonderful.  Those came right after I found out that my boss who drives me bat-crap crazy is now coming into the office full time.

So basically, Monday kind of blew...and even though I tried to make it better, the week just never really recovered.  But you know what?  When I was sad, I cried.  And when I was happy, I laughed.  And when I wasn't hungry, I didn't eat.

That's the trend I hope to follow this week... it's so easy to say, but it's so hard to do sometimes. 

So, in case there is someone else out there wondering how I did it, I'll share what helped me. 

I really just tried to be aware of what I was feeling.

I've heard countless times that people should ask themselves if they're really hungry before eating something.  That doesn't work for me.  I can't, when faced with a delectable dessert, ask myself if I'm really hungry or (taking it a step further) what I'm really hungry for.  It just doesn't work for me.  I'm too flooded by saliva to make sane decisions and I usually just dig right in and tell myself that I'll try to figure it out later.

What HAS worked for me is to practice asking myself how I feel.  I do it so often that I'm not even aware of me consciously having to think that.

The benefit of this regular check-in is that I'm at least partially aware of how I'm feeling before I start being faced with food.

Sometimes the answer just comes back as "tired."  Well, that's great information to know and be aware of...I mean, if faced with a donut and sugar-laden coffee later, I'd probably be overly tempted to consume it.  But if I'm aware that I'm tired, it's somehow easier for me to make a logical decision and pass it up.

If the answer comes back that I'm sad, I try to sit with that feeling as long as possible before "doing" something about it.  I've felt that a lot this past week - and each time I've done a little something different.  I've hugged my cat, I've called friends, I've watched TV, I've journaled, and I've done something nice for somoene else. 

I make this distinction, of trying to be aware of my feelings rather than aware if I'm hungry, because for me THAT way is easier.  I realize that it's a bit like the proverbial chicken and the egg scenario, but being aware of my feelings BEFORE temptations arise, helps me tend to myself quicker before I'm salivating and struggling with decisions.

Make sense?

This week, I have a lot of stuff going on.  Lots of appointments packed into this week and get togethers with friends.  Somehow I need to finish my Christmas shopping and maybe even send out Christmas cards.

So I can't promise that I'll track appropriately or even keep around my points target.  But I can make a concerted effort to continue what feels right and good...and checking in with myself, being gentle and kind to myself, feels like an excellent Christmas gift.


Lily Fluffbottom said...

My cousin often has what we refer to as "ex-boyfriend" weeks, where suddenly she'll start hearing from some of the major or not so major players in her past right around the time she's about to make a really important life changing decision.

Sounds like you got your experience with that as well.

Congratulations on the loss in spite of the emotional upheaval. That can't have been easy to maintain the balance, but you did it!

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

Congrats on the nice loss and on the deeper understanding of what drives you to make unwise decisions.

I sometimes do better with simply eating set portions at assigned times, since hunger very rarely has all that much to do when or how much I eat. That and making a conscious effort to slow down with stuffing chow in my maw.

Anyway, best of luck on navigating your way through the hectic holiday season.

Lyn said...

Great job on the weight loss, but even greater job on figuring yourself out :)


Kellie said...

Congrats on the loss!! :)

I really like that you ask yourself how you feel instead of whether or not you are hungry. Emotional hunger is from emotional pain is just as real as hunger from being hungry.

Great post! :)