Tuesday, June 7, 2011

We've been fired...

...by our couples therapist.

Yup, that's right.  A bit over a week ago, Julie, our therapist, sat Joe and me down and said that we were the healthiest of her patients and she really couldn't do anything more for us.  She said we had a great vibe and that we communicate well.  We've literally been tested and our compatability is great.  We've discussed what we want and need out of our relationship.  We've met each other's needs.  We've gone through our training and can now talk our way through conflict such that even Dr. Phil would be proud (and is it just me or does he seem like he'd be not easy to please?).

Joe immedietly gave me a high-five.  And I immediately said something like, "You do know that she's just saying we're the best of the worst."  What?  It's true!

Alright, alright.  It *is* wonderful.  We've done well with the homework and exercises that she's had us do.

But now it's officially up to Joe as to whether this relationship continues or not.

He's seeing a new therapist (his old one seemed to think that I was simply wrong for him and that he would commit once he found the "right one."  Julie completely disagrees and feels like his issues on not commiting have very little to do with the women that he's dated and everything to do with the fact that he doesn't seem to like close relationships).  His new therapist is someone that Julie highly recommended.  She doesn't take insurance so Joe is paying full price out of pocket weekly.  Clearly, he is trying and I believe that he deserves a lot of kudos for that.

She does want to see us again in 6 weeks to discuss the progress that Joe is making in his therapy and how I'm working on my stuff.

My "stuff" is to press for my own healthy entitlement...in short, to stand up for myself.  I've held strong to my "I need to have a ring on my finger by 2012 or we're through" ultimatum - and it's a stance that both my therapist and Julie have avidly supported me in.  I always thought that ultimatums were bad - they say they're only bad if you don't follow through on them or abuse them. 

(sigh)

Anyway, since I figured you all might be wondering, I thought I'd give you an update.

P.S.  Oh, and if he was 40% sure about getting married to me back in April, he's now at 45%.  Know what's more painful than watching a pot boil or paint dry?  Watching Joe's percentage SLOOOOOWLY creep up.  I mean, it's good, but sometimes, it's just painful.

5 Comments:

Karen@WaistingTime said...

I'm impressed that he would even GO to couples therapy!

Katy said...

If it makes you feel any better, I'm convinced that everyone is only about 85% sure on just about everything. I don't think you ever feel 100%. So by those standards, you're over half way there :)

Seriously though, I wasn't 100% when I married Scott. I think that's sort of a good thing too. 100% means too comfortable, and too comfortable breeds the thinking that your relationship is industructable.

Ex Yo-Yo Dieter Debbie said...

It definitely sounds like he's trying...and more than 45%.

Part of me is protective of you - I can't help but wonder what that other 55% is all about...but much better to sort it all out before the walk down the aisle.

I agree with Katy - it's never 100%, and if it is, then complacency has crept in...not exactly romantic, but a reality.

Stick with your guns...you only have one life and you deserve to have every single thing you're dreaming of!

xo Debbie

Princess Dieter said...

I hope he makes more progress, and I commend him for going at all and doing the work. You have the patience of Job, lady!

And I disagree that you can't feel 100%. May not happen often, but it can. I'm 100% sure about hubby and he's 100% sure about me. He'll even say, "God put us together. We're destined." Well, maybe He did, but only He knows. I only know I've never had such an easy breezy relationship in my whole 51 years. It's like butter. :D

I am rooting for your health and your ring day! 2012, here she comes!

Janell said...

Here's to Prince Charming coming along and stealing you away from him.
Sheesh.