Good to know

So you guys know that I've checked out slightly when it comes to WW. I just got burnt out on ALL THE COUNTING of ALL THE POINTS. I was burnt out on continuously worrying if I had enough points for this and it got to where I was starting to resent the new way of life.

So I rebelled and I gained.

Then two weeks ago, I lost two pounds. Without really trying. Basically since I'm giving myself permission to just stay at this weight for the rest of the summer, I've found that I'm not that into making sure that I hit my points target or that I don't go beyond that. I'm trying to concentrate, instead, on healthier living.

This past week, when I stepped on the scale, I saw that I was up 0.8. I wasn't surprised. Because even though I have been beefing up my running, I've also been eating more...beef. :) So it's not a big shocker.

What was surprising is that my leader asked me how I felt about it. I felt fine. Genuinely. 0.8 is not a big deal. In the same way that losing 2 is not a big deal. She encouraged me to find something to be mindful of since I'm not tracking as much. That isn't a big deal as I have a 5K that I'm going to run at the beginning of August and a 10K race that I'm doing on Thanksgiving Day (pictures will be forthcoming!).

Then she said, "I just don't want you to gain all your weight back. You've worked so hard!"

And I was SHOCKED at my response which was similar to if she had said that she didn't want me to run out, get a gun, and shoot a baby.

I simply knew that that would never happen.

I WILL stay at a weight loss of at least 50 pounds throughout the summer.

In my entries, I've posted a lot about how I was worried that I would gain it all back...and now, after hearing her say that, I didn't respond the way I have in the past. My first thought was NOT "Yeah, I'm worried about that too!" it was that regaining simply wasn't an option.

These days I'm clinging to that realization.