Thank you

I tried to think of a clever title for this post, but I couldn't - because the mantra that kept pouring out of me was "Thank you."

Seriously.  Your advice, emails, and listening ears regarding my last post helped out a ton.

To be honest, I'm not sure I ever really thought about things the way that some of you wrote.  I mean, yes, I've written about what Geneen Roth calls your "inclination to bolt" as a way to zone out of your life as it stands... but in some ways I wasn't aware of how deep it could go.  I knew I was afraid of feeling empty and alone, but I didn't really think to figure out WHY those feelings were so uncomfortable.

I've done some processing about why that feels so darn uncomfortable and my hope is that I'll be able to put those issues to rest - or at least to peace.

Truthfully, like every time I drop a bomb (something that I've been holding in and not sharing) on this blog, it felt better just writing what was going on in my head.  This was no exception.

I have a lot to think about.

In the meantime, our second session with the couples counselor is tonight - where hopefully we'll be able to figure out more about how much longer I'm willing to wait and how much thought he's putting into this.  I know he's trying.  Guys don't agree to go to a therapist for the first time in their lives weekly AND add in a couples counselor if they're not at least willing to do some work on the subject.  And I know he wouldn't go through all this just for anyone.

Is that enough?  And if it is, will it be enough for forever?  Maybe.  Maybe not. 

In other news, I had the third (and hopefully final) interview on Tuesday and I feel like it went really well.  If they do offer something that is within my requested salary range, I'll take it and be happy.  They said that I would hear soon and when I left, the HR manager gave me a benefits package to review "until the next time that we talk."  The two people I interviewed with indicated several times that they would give me an offer.

Lastly, I've started to do some thinking about how to structure my eating, my approach to eating, or my plan of eating a bit better.

I believe that intuitive eating CAN work...but I believe that I need some more structure.  I brainstormed with some ways on how to do this - and maybe it means sticking strongly to the "rules" that Geneen has written about in many of her books.  Maybe it means taking pictures of my food before I eat so that I can pause and actually decide how hungry I am before I start.

Whatever the case, I feel more optimistic today that the cycle of overeating can and will stop. 

And that?  Is progress.