Saturday, May 9, 2009

Pretty proud of myself...

This past weigh in I DID gain weight. And as much as I said that I wasn't going to feel bad about it, I DID feel bad about it.

I had a pity party during the meeting and I definitely had a pity party on the way home. I was just so frustrated that I didn't accomplish any of the three goals I set out about the week before: to not continue the trend of losing weight two weeks and then gaining one week, to not gain weight over my birthday week, and to not have made it the halfway point.

I won't say that I've been on track this whole week, but I have been on track most of the week. And since I'm trying to re-condition my knees to compression (aka running), I can pretty much only walk. But you know what? I still walked almost 10 miles this week. A year ago, I couldn't have even imagined that.

I'm realizing that even though my issues with food are not completely gone, they have lessened. When I have a night where I'm not on track that's usually because I ate two bowls of cereal for dinner (which wow - I go through a lot of points that way) instead of because I ate out at an all-you-can-eat place and a huge desert on top of it. And that's just it. I have a night - or even a day or two of not being on track, instead of a week or months off track - which is how I was before.

I am getting better...and I guess that I've come to the conclusion that it's when your weight loss is the slowest that you're REALLY learning things...or at least that's how it is for me. When it was easy, it was easy. Now that it's a bit harder to remain consistent, I'm really learning what issues lie behind the food...and what issues I simply need to release.

Yep - I am pretty proud of myself.

2 Comments:

Bonnie said...

You should be proud of yourself! You are learning very valuable lessons, and will do great in the long run. I'm proud of you!

POD said...

Do food issues ever really go away or do we learn to recognize our reactions to food and we're able to calm the reaction before we switch into auto-pilot food mode? Awareness is a big.

Definitely getting better. A lot to be proud of.
Now if we could only *cure* the need for pity parties...