Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Motivation, from a different source

So yesterday morning at work, all of us were called into the conference room and told that our facility is being shut down.

And wow was it a shock. In fact, I feel a little betrayed by one of the managers here, but that's a different story for a different day.

Basically, someone in upper management of our huge company decided that a good way to save money would be to take the early-out option of ANY building's leases. Ours just happened to be first.

The rub of it is, we are actually the star facility of the company. Seriously. Our bookings and shipment numbers are ALWAYS above where they should be. Other measurements that are trackable are great too. That's one of the many ways that I just didn't see this coming.

We were told that each employee falls into three categories:
1) We might be let go and given a severance package
b) We might be offered relocation to go to a different site - although the job we're offered may not be what we have or anything that we would want
iii) We might be allowed to work from home.

We were told that we have jobs until April. We were told that we will find out which category we fall into by the end of January. And that's basically it.

Yesterday, I found myself being pretty optimistic for people at work. But on the way home, I broke down.

The fear of the unknown creeps in and even though I know realisticallythat I'll probably be fine, I'm having anxiety.

Scratch that. I'm having a lot of anxiety.

So I went through the normal cycle of emotions and I find myself thinking about things that I can cut out of my budget. Do I really need the gym membership? No. Do I really need the channels of TV that I have? No. Do I really need Weight Watchers?

And that's the thing, right? I mean, I've been sort of dicking around with it for the past 9 months. That's $360. And I could use the $360 right about now.

But I've stopped and thought about how I can save money in other ways. I'm determined to have my WW fee be the last thing that goes. Because although it is expensive, it helps me much more than other things do. It's my support - given to me weekly. The people there know my name, they know my story, and they want me to succeed - much like the readers of this blog.

The other thing is, as long as I'm committed to paying the money, I might as well actually work the program. I'm proud of the sustained weight loss that I've achieved up until this point. And I know that the scale *is* moving in the right direction. But I also know that I can work my butt off (literally) until the last day I work here.

The reality is, I don't know what is going to happen in the next five months any more than you do. But I do know that I can change my reactions to things and I can work to make something more positive in my life (like my health) even when it seems that things are hopeless.

I'm not hopeless. And neither is my weight loss journey.


Misspudding said...

Ugh. I'm sorry. But damn, at least you have a LOT of notice (April is a long time, if you do get let go).

I signed up for WW in the depths of unemployment. It's so important to me now. It's like therapy that I can actually afford.

I hope you're one of the lucky ones, Anne!

Margie M. said...

One really BIG thing I noticed with this post is that you did not run right to the pantry or the refrigerator to comfort yourself with food. Wow! That in and of itself is a really big deal. I agree that WW is so important. The support there is fantastic. I've been going almost every single week since reaching my goal weight in early 2005. I try not to miss, even when we are traveling. I hope your job situation will have a happy ending. Please keep us all informed on the outcome of that. Hang in there! You're doing GREAT.

POD said...

I'm really sorry to read about your job at Dunder Mifflen. (sounds like it's the same company!)

I hope you find out some good news about your category. One thing I know from my AGE OLD experience is that if everything feels out of control and uncertain, the one thing you can control is the crap you put inside your body.

Lyn said...

The unknown sucks, but maybe, just maybe this will be a blessing in disguise :)

Happy changes could be ahead! It sounds like you are thinking rationally, so that's a good thing. I am glad you still have the support of WW :)

Sunkissed Cheeks said...

Your mind seems to be in an amazing place to handle all of these questions so you should be proud.
I agree gym goes, then WW. You can exercise outside when it warms up or rent workout videos from the library. If you do have to leave WW for a while, be sure to use all of this communities support. This could be a blessing in disguise, maybe the idea of having to quit soon can give you that energy to push harder than ever. PS: Thanks for all the words and help :-)

Amy Pousson said...

Dude, that sucks. I hope you get good news, but like Lyn said, maybe it's a blessing in disguise. I know that getting laid off from USG was the best thing that could have happened to me when it did. I like that attitude about WW being the last thing to get cut. And I know it sounds all 12-steppy and everything, but it helps me to say the serenity prayer and actually listen to what I am saying. Concentrate on what you can control and let go of what you can't.