Thursday, April 28, 2011

A Start

Is it just me or is breaking free of emotional eating habits hard?

Last Thursday, I started obsessing about having a blizzard from DQ. I knew Joe was going to work late. I knew that the type I liked is only made at a select few places. And I knew that I had 3 hours left in my work day before I could leave to go get one.

By the time my normal quit time came around, I was practically salivating.

I started the 20 minute drive in traffic, and I was really looking forward to that first bite. I was picturing myself ordering it/them (maybe I wanted two small blizzards?). I was envisioning how the crunchy bits would soothe just as much as the creamy parts.

The windows we down in my car, the sun was shining, the music station I love was on. I was going to get a fix. Life didn't seem like it could get better.

And then I realized that I really liked the song on the radio. It had a great beat. I turned up the radio.

I realized I really loved that song and before I could really think about it, I realized that I wanted to move to the song. "This would be a great song to run to." I thought.

Crap. Just like that, my fixation on the fix lessened. And with just a few minutes left to get to the DQ, I exited and turned my car around.

I went home.

I changed into my running clothes.

And dammit, I ran. I completed a 5K. I walked a lot of it. But I did it.

I'm not going to lie to you, there were parts of that run, where I wished I would've enjoyed the blizzard instead. For those that run, it was just a bad one. I couldn't get my breathing or my stride right. It wasn't particularly enjoyable. But I did it.

I've been thinking about why my desire to have the blizzard was so strong. Why did it seem like nothing else would do?

And while I may not have the whole answer, I believe I have an idea.

I fixated on something for three hours. I fixated on every aspect of that something. What would happen beforehand, what would happen during, and what would happen after. That's some powerful visualization right there, no?

I challenge you to think of anything comforting or pleasurable for hours, and see if you're not all excited to have whatever that is with enthusiasm. I think that's why sexy teasing in the morning before work equals hot passionate sex after work.

It made me aware that what you focus on really has a huge impact. And how monitoring my thoughts matter me farther than I ever was really aware.

So instead of fixating on whatever you current comfort food is, perhaps it's time to ask ourselves what we really want. A reward after a long day? A break from thinking? A chance to zone out? The comfort of something flooding our senses? And then think of another way to satisfy that need in a healthy way.

Lately, for me that's been coming home and cocooning myself in fluffy blankets while having a cup of tea.

It may not be enough of a change to help me lose 60 pounds, but it's a start.

8 Comments:

Waisting Time said...

Running over a blizzard! Good for you:)

Kendra said...

Love. Good for you! I can only hope I'll make such good choices! One choice at a time. That's all it takes, or something like that...

Lily Fluffbottom said...

So I totally didn't make the healthier decision last night, and ate a row of thin mint girl scout cookies.

Choosing running over a blizzard is amazing. Its the small things that count. They add up to make mountains.

Auntie Mandy said...

Rock on! It is hard. But a lot of stuff that we do every day is hard, and we can do this too!

(My word verification was an actual word!)

Ex Yo-Yo Dieter Debbie said...

Oooh - this is big!

The great thing is, the next time you find yourself in a similar situation, you can think of what you did here, gather strength from knowing you chose something other than food, and you'll do it again...but it'll be easier.

Step by step...it's slow and agonizing to change emotional eating habits, but all these choices you're making are adding up into new healthy way of eating.

Awesome!

Jen in MN said...

Turning the DQ Blizzard train around for a run is nothing short of incredible in my book. I find it SO, SO hard to get myself off the "obsessed with a treat" track once I get on. Good work!! Hard choices like that are what will make you.

deisegirl said...

We carry these habits with us for so many years, so it's only natural that they are not going to disappear overnight. Yay for having the healthy urge win out over the not so healthy one :)

kristi said...

Wow you have stronger will power than I do!! :) I'm so glad that you are getting back to running! You're definitely an inspiration to me!