Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Clarification and positive momentum

First, thanks so much to you all for the outpouring of support yesterday.  As I'm sure you could tell, I was in a not-so-happy place...and while I wasn't concerned about statistics droppings in my blog, I guess I was concerned about disappointing you all - especially after you all have been so supportive of me.  I feel like this is a bit of partnership - and when you comment, I feel so supported.  In this time when I feel so let down by my body, I guess it just sucks more knowing that I let you all down too.  That's what I meant by losing followers, etc.

I know what you all were thinking as far as diabetic concerns, but they ran all of my bloodwork at the end of September, and I'm healthy as a horse - stat wise - other than my weight.  So I'm not even pre-diabetic.  My blood pressure is 110/60 and I've got high HDL, low LDL, and great triglyceride levels.  I'm good.

I felt so relieved just by posting yesterday - that after I got done, I laid down for a nap - a three hour long nap (sort of like Gilligan's Island, but with fewer white hats) and woke up feeling so much lighter.

And then I got the call from my case manager for the short term disability company that my company hired for cases like mine.

She said that they extended my benefits another two weeks - and that she'd re-evaluate if they had to be extended after that time too.  It was a much needed answered prayer - and it felt so amazing.

Today, I'm excited to report that my incision site actually looks smaller.  Visibly smaller than what it was last Friday.  I can't tell you how happy that makes me.

It's progress...and although I still had to "air it out" earlier today for an hour or so after it getting goopy again, I'm doing better.  Maybe it's just that I got the emotional weight off my back about how sucky this situation is, but I feel better too.

I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving tomorrow. 

I even had a good idea for a blog post today - the first in weeks - and I feel glad that through the cloudiness that has been my attitude lately, that there is a ray of sunshine coming through.  It felt like a glimmer of myself - one that was positive, upbeat, and optimistic. 

For now, I'm praying that the healing will continue and that positive momentum is here to stay! 

13 Comments:

Princess Dieter said...

Yay. I like good news! Glad it's looking up.

foodmasochist said...

When i had my daughter my c section incision got deeply infected so i feel for you. i had to put all kinds of medical goo in it and then bandage it all up. i used to use a maxi pad cuz the sticky part would stick to my panties and then the absorbent part would be against the incision. Not how i envisioned having an infant! But i feel for you. It is a slow process of healing (slow) but..... once it gets going the pain will be gone and it will mostly be a inconvenience. This too shall pass, i promise! (((hugs)))!

Lanie Painie said...

omg. that maxipad idea is BRILLIANT!

I cried for you last night. Then I remembered to take my meds. I'm all good now. Really, don't worry about me. I'm fine. *gulp*

I'm so so SO glad to hear you're feeling a little better finally. I'm sure your little catharsis helped a lot. You were DUE man!

Now remember, the only gobbling tomorrow is from turkeys, not from us!

Lanie Painie said...

omg. that maxipad idea is BRILLIANT!

I cried for you last night. Then I remembered to take my meds. I'm all good now. Really, don't worry about me. I'm fine. *gulp*

I'm so so SO glad to hear you're feeling a little better finally. I'm sure your little catharsis helped a lot. You were DUE man!

Now remember, the only gobbling tomorrow is from turkeys, not from us!

Lanie Painie said...

hey look. it posted twice. I must've really MEANT it!

Karen said...

You did not let anyone down! We are all here for you. Write about what you are feeling. Hugs.

Happy Thanksgiving:)

Lyn said...

Hey girl, just getting caught up on your blog. I am so sorry you're struggling. I have had the depression (situational or not) going on lately too. Just hang in there okay? I know it is just words, but pretend there is a hug and a cup of tea in there with it. I care and I do hope you heal up and start to feel better very, very soon.

Auntie Mandy said...

Wow! I guess it really IS all about Lanie! And I second/third the maxi pad idea being BRILLIANT! I would avoid wings.

Fat Grump said...

I am an abdominal ops veteran, so I really feel for you as you heal. It can take time and we can feel down after surgery, which isn't good when we are in pain as well.

I hope you heal up completely before long. Take it one day at a time. It does get easier and more comfortable.

Try to enjoy your enforced rest. I am glad you are on the mend.

PS: Have just read Janell's guest post, about not delaying weight loss. The years fly by - so why spend them as a fat person? Just wanted to thank you for letting her write. What a great post for the.. er...more mature woman, like me :)

It certainly stopped me feeling sorry for myself!

TinaM said...

Just caught up on the last 2, I feel so bad about what you have hd to go through. I am SO GLAD you are starting to feel better!!!

I wanted to stop by and tell you helped lift me a little out of my depression I've had lately. :)

I received the $150 Visa Card that I won over at your review blog! Of ALL the days it could have come, it came on my birthday! In a card! And Right on time for Black Friday :) What a great surprise that was!!! And I know you don't want any credit, but I never would have visited or entered if you weren't writing it!

So THANK YOU! I hope you are doing well and having a great day. You really made my day. My WEEK! :)

Big Clyde said...

This post definitely made me feel better. How are you doing 5 days later?

Big Clyde said...

This post definitely made me feel better. How are you doing 5 days later?

Lesia said...

Sorry you are going thru this but happy you are getting better. Stopping by to say Hi and to send a smile your way.