Me first

First, a quick update.  I still have an open wound but it is amazingly smaller than what it used to be.  I believe it should be closed up later this week for good - although I'll be going to the doctor later today to verify.  As luck would have it (or at least my luck would have it), I'm currently running a fever and am sick.  I either have the flu or or a super bad cold.  But I'm hoping it doesn't turn into a sinus infection - so I'm trying to stay on top of meds and supplements to make this shorter than what it has to be.

The Monday after I had my surgery, I went to a doctor to have my staples removed.  My mom was driving Joe's car and as she was going to get my prescriptions filled, I was dropped off to just go home and rest. 

On my way across the few blocks to the entrance to our building, I caught a lady's eye.  'I know that girl,' I thought.  By her expression, she recognized me too.  But as I was trying to place where I knew her from, she smiled and said hi.  Turns out she is from my old Weight Watchers group.

Immediate dread filled me.  I was fresh out of surgery, in pain, and dreading the few blocks that I had to walk to get home.  But I didn't say good-bye to anyone at my meeting when I quit.  No one knew why.  I realized that since I was still completely bloated from the surgery, it likely looked like I had gained back lots of weight.  I was sure that she had lots of questions.

I was right; she asked what was new, and why I had stopped coming. 

At that moment, I breathed in and realized that I didn't want to go through it all. So I didn't.

I put me first.

I explained to her that I had just had surgery and that I didn't feel well.  I said that I'd have to catch up with her later and wished her well.  The entire part of my conversation lasted about 10 seconds.  I mean, I said I'd catch up later when I didn't ask for her contact information.  She quickly nodded her agreement and wished me well.

A year ago, I definitely would've put her first, or at least what I thought that she needed and wanted.  I would've felt like I had to justify my choice and what kind of surgery I had just had.  I would've made sure that she felt good about whatever progress she had made.  And I would've been fatigued at the end of the conversation.

But now, I put me first.  I realized that I was already tired - and going into a long conversation with someone who I didn't even remember where I knew her from wasn't necessary.  Not going into everything with her was OKAY.  She is okay.  And I felt better about finally honoring ME.

As I get better, I'm looking for little ways that I can do that on a regular basis.  I believe that those small ways of putting yourself as a priority will build up to healthy habits and behaviors.

What about you - what have you done for YOU lately?

P.S.  It's Monday - so this is just a reminder to head over to my review blog and put in a great tip for the holidays.  One lucky person will win $150 from BlogHer and Laughing Cow.