A new set of goals

What feels like a million years ago, I signed up for the Hot 100 Challenge.  It started 100 days out from the end of the year - and the idea was to make the most of the last 100 days of 2010.  Pick a few goals and meet them. 

It sounded like a great idea.  But a few days after signing up for the challenge, I found out that I needed surgery.  And then, I found that running (my favorite way to burn energy) aggravated the uterine fibroid.  I think after that, I just sort of quit.  I put myself on hold and felt like I would tackle all the "hard stuff" after I was through surgery.

The last five weeks, I've been struggling to heal.  In fact, sometimes, I can't believe it's been five weeks.  Five LONG weeks of me whining.  :)

Monday, I saw my OB and he said that I was a few days from healing up completely.  Since last Tuesday when I wrote my "craptastic" post, my body has been healing in super mode.  I didn't want to mention it (for fear of jinxing it somehow), but it's been amazing to see the progress.  And today?  I'm still not healed, but I'm SO CLOSE.  So close, that I actually have been able to stop taping up my body and have been able to live life in a more normal way. 

I also was prescribed antibiotics (again) but this time for a sinus infection.  Yesterday was the first day since the surgery that I actually started feeling more like the old me. 

Know what I found?  I found that I'm the same exact size I was 5 weeks ago.  I weigh close to the same amount.  The only thing that's changed is that my hair is longer.  Seriously.  Everything else is pretty much the same.

So while I don't have 100 days left in 2010, I do have 31 days left.  31 days to make the most of this last year. 

My new goals?  They're not much different than what they were 70 days ago.

• I want to take care of my skin - washing my face each night.
  
• I want to continue to learn new things - I'll do this by watching educational shows and reading books.  I want to become more aware of where our food comes from and how to make better choices with food and exercise.
  
• I want to run.  I originally wanted to run my first 10K, but after having not run in 8 weeks or so, that's probably not gonna happen.  My new goal is to just enjoy running again.  I want to be able to get back to where I was at the beginning of September - running a 5K without stopping.
  
• I want to continue to practice gentleness with myself.  I want to start being kind to myself when I look at it in the mirror.  My abdomen is bigger than what it's been in a while (probably due a bit to surgery, but more to the lack of cardio and not the best food choices), although I'm not sure that it's not all in my head.  Even if it hasn't changed much since the surgery, I want the circumference of my waist to change, but I need to not have hatred at my reflection be the first thing on my mind. 
  
• I want to be lighter.  Originally, I wanted to be in the lower range of weight.  I'm still in the 200's but I want the tens digit to be one less than what it has been for months.  That'd be 9 pounds right now.  And while 9 pounds in a month is doable, it's not very practical.  So, I'd like to be as close to the next digit down as possible.

Maybe it's these new antibiotics.  Maybe it's the fact that I can now move without searing pain.  Maybe it's that I'm not living in fear that my wound won't ever close up.  Whatever it is, I'm happy to be living live with more vitality and umph.  I'm glad I'm back to feeling better and more optimistic about my choices.  I can't tell you how good it feels.

I'm off to get caught up on some of your blogs!  YAY! :)