Wednesday, December 1, 2010

A new set of goals

What feels like a million years ago, I signed up for the Hot 100 Challenge.  It started 100 days out from the end of the year - and the idea was to make the most of the last 100 days of 2010.  Pick a few goals and meet them. 

It sounded like a great idea.  But a few days after signing up for the challenge, I found out that I needed surgery.  And then, I found that running (my favorite way to burn energy) aggravated the uterine fibroid.  I think after that, I just sort of quit.  I put myself on hold and felt like I would tackle all the "hard stuff" after I was through surgery.

The last five weeks, I've been struggling to heal.  In fact, sometimes, I can't believe it's been five weeks.  Five LONG weeks of me whining.  :)

Monday, I saw my OB and he said that I was a few days from healing up completely.  Since last Tuesday when I wrote my "craptastic" post, my body has been healing in super mode.  I didn't want to mention it (for fear of jinxing it somehow), but it's been amazing to see the progress.  And today?  I'm still not healed, but I'm SO CLOSE.  So close, that I actually have been able to stop taping up my body and have been able to live life in a more normal way. 

I also was prescribed antibiotics (again) but this time for a sinus infection.  Yesterday was the first day since the surgery that I actually started feeling more like the old me. 

Know what I found?  I found that I'm the same exact size I was 5 weeks ago.  I weigh close to the same amount.  The only thing that's changed is that my hair is longer.  Seriously.  Everything else is pretty much the same.

So while I don't have 100 days left in 2010, I do have 31 days left.  31 days to make the most of this last year. 

My new goals?  They're not much different than what they were 70 days ago.

  • I want to take care of my skin - washing my face each night.
  • I want to continue to learn new things - I'll do this by watching educational shows and reading books.  I want to become more aware of where our food comes from and how to make better choices with food and exercise.
  • I want to run.  I originally wanted to run my first 10K, but after having not run in 8 weeks or so, that's probably not gonna happen.  My new goal is to just enjoy running again.  I want to be able to get back to where I was at the beginning of September - running a 5K without stopping.
  • I want to continue to practice gentleness with myself.  I want to start being kind to myself when I look at it in the mirror.  My abdomen is bigger than what it's been in a while (probably due a bit to surgery, but more to the lack of cardio and not the best food choices), although I'm not sure that it's not all in my head.  Even if it hasn't changed much since the surgery, I want the circumference of my waist to change, but I need to not have hatred at my reflection be the first thing on my mind. 
  • I want to be lighter.  Originally, I wanted to be in the lower range of weight.  I'm still in the 200's but I want the tens digit to be one less than what it has been for months.  That'd be 9 pounds right now.  And while 9 pounds in a month is doable, it's not very practical.  So, I'd like to be as close to the next digit down as possible.

Maybe it's these new antibiotics.  Maybe it's the fact that I can now move without searing pain.  Maybe it's that I'm not living in fear that my wound won't ever close up.  Whatever it is, I'm happy to be living live with more vitality and umph.  I'm glad I'm back to feeling better and more optimistic about my choices.  I can't tell you how good it feels.

I'm off to get caught up on some of your blogs!  YAY! :)


Ex Yo-Yo Dieter Debbie said...

Yay! I'm SO glad you're feeling better!!!

You say your abdomen is still puffy...just try to imagine that how it's looking on the outside (ie not quite completely healed) extends way inside. Add in some meds, and I'm willing to bet you're actually much smaller.

Did I mention how glad I am that your incision is almost healed? :)

Amanda said...

As someone who has had 4 c-sections, let me assure you: it's not all in your head. Five weeks is not long enough for all the swelling to go down for that type of surgery.

Yay for bodies healing and for feeling better! Yay for making the most of the last month of 2010! And yay for goals! :)

I'm glad you are feeling better.

Lanie Painie said...

That's our girl! Realistic goals it's what the Hot 100 is all about, and your reality has completely changed, hasn't it?

You'll do it, I'm sure you will. And I'm here to cheer you onward! :D

Karen said...

Life threw you a curve ball, for sure. Glad to hear the optimism in your voice again:)

The Chubby Girl Diaries said...

Those are great goals for 2010!!

I have had 3 c-sections and found that the swelling went down after 8-9 weeks post-partum. So it's definitely not all in your head.

You are headed in a great direction girl! :)


Gina said...

It's nice to hear your optimism again, but always feel free to blog about the way you feel at the time. I'm just glad things seem to be progressing. Go you for not gaining weight during this time. Go you for still being motivated to continue on & perservere. Go YOU!

Janell said...

Sounds like you're off to a better start with the health and refining of goals. I'm glad to see you're feeling better. I hate all that whining. haha I do it enough for both of us.

How I'm Losing It said...

So great to hear you are feeling better! And your first blog this week is about setting goals! How awesome! You mention that you want to know more about the food we eat. Have you seen the movie Food, Inc.? Very eye-opening. You can check it out here

Or just stop by your local Blockbuster and rent it. I highly recommend that everyone see it. Even if you walk away thinking that the info is skewed, which it may or may not be, it certainly makes you think twice about what you eat and where it comes from.

Auntie Mandy said...

Can I get a "WOOT WOOT!"? WOOT WOOT!

Rock on!

Lily Fluffbottom said...

Super glad your healing process has sped itself up! I'm so ready for this month to be over. So ready to be on the other side of dark.

Jen said...

Anne!! I am so happy that you are feeling better!! Holy Moly it's about time!! Has it really been 5 weeks? TIme sure does fly!

Thanks for your comment today!! It made my day and I can't tell you how happy I am that you are getting back to your old self!!

About the holidays, let me know what days you're in town and we'll definitely plan something. We might be going to my sisters again! We too, can't seem to make a decision! There's lots going on here so not sure if it work for us to go Arizona. Hope it works out that we can see each other and I would LOVE to meet your sweetie!

Good luck with next 30days!! I know you'll do great!!

Andie said...

I'm new to your blog, and just wanted to say that I really enjoyed reading your post today. Making goals outside of weight loss is so important is something I also need to consider doing. Keep inspiring

kristi said...

Yay!!! I am so glad that you have turned a corner! You deserve good things in 2011 and I hope your happiness grows as you work toward your goals.

TinaM said...

I am so glad to see how well you're doing!!!

Those are great, and realistic goals you have set, good for you!

Oh, and good for you putting yourself first that day with the WW lady. Make sure you continue thinking about YOU.

Call Me Ishmael said...

Am sorry to hear you have been ill and had surgery but so glad you are feeling better! Serious kudos to you for not going off the rails during what sounds like a very intense and difficult convalescence. Keep healing away!

Brigitte said...

Yay for feeling better and having newish goals. I hope with each new day you are able to accomplish more and more!