Friday, March 4, 2011

Struggling

Hello there!

The newest addition to my cube. :)
First, I am so sorry for being vacant.  The new job has a VERY strict policy of what is and is not allowed on work computers.  I can't even get to my gmail account on my work computer, so Blogger is completely out.  I do have access via my iPhone (which is how I'm reading blog posts at lunch)...but commenting is not so fun and easy - especially via our 3G network.  Having said that, I've never been so happy to have an iPhone in my life.

And actually?  The picture on this post is from my cube - I bought the tiny vase at a small shop in Idaho Springs and the daisy is from a bouquet that I bought at Safeway Tuesday night (the whole bouquet was only $2.99!!)

So basically, I'm having to find time to write a blog and comment at night.  So far, I've only made it to two blog posts and have commented on 0 blogs.  I want to...I just am swamped with all that I have on my plate right now (Jackie, you were so right!).

I'm struggling though.  I want to tell you about all the times I "won" but I can only think of a few.  One of which being that Wednesday morning, our HR department brought in ooey gooey donuts (including bavarian creme, my favorite) due to us hitting the February sales numbers.  I was in the lunchroom when they brought them in and felt no hunger towards them - so I just passed them up, despite many people encouraging me to indulge.

The thing I've been struggling the most with is getting so growling hungry in my stomach that I want to devour people's faces AND my lunch.  The food I bring to work is healthy (a sandwich, a cup of blackberries, an apple, and some PopChips), but when I get to the point of being famished, I scarf it down without much mindfulness.  I get this hungry because most of my day is spent at other co-workers desks - and they're training myself and another co-worker at the same time.  These people must have stomachs of steel because they'll go for hours and hours without so much as a peep of discomfort.

And my eating at night?  Eesh.  VERY far off where I want to be.

Starting today, I want to honor my body a bit more - even if only to eat and fuel it when I'm hungry versus waiting for when my co-workers get hungry.  If they think I'm a pig, too bad.  I'll show them in a few months when the weight starts to peel off again.  But in the meantime, waiting until I'm physically so uncomfortable and it isn't doing me any favors.

On the plus side?  Scale says I'm down the 3 pounds I reported gaining last week.  So I guess it isn't all bad.

P.S.  Just a reminder to head on over to the Review Blog and enter to win the $100 gift card!  The contest ends soon!

9 Comments:

Joshua said...

Well Hi!

I have had 2 days of struggles - but I'm learning that I will have those. I simply need to keep fighting. You're doing awesome, so keep it up!

By the way, I love what you wrote about "food is food, until it's poop." I guess I never thought of it quite that way before!

~ Darla ~ said...

Love that vase, so cute. I hear you on finding the time for blogging and reading....so many blogs, so little time. I wish it was my full-time job :)

Lanie Painie said...

The vase and daisy are adorable and forced me into happiness. Bitch.

Some companies really have a lot of nerve expecting employees to be "productive" at their jobs instead of playing on blogspot, don't they? I hate it. My boss is the same way and she's only 9 years old. Bitch.

Missing you desperately!

Janell said...

What a pain! Dumb new company job.

Like the vase and the cheap daisy though. BE happy!

Amy P said...

I regularly eat in meetings, be they in conference rooms or at someone's desk. I know you are new and that makes it more of a challenge...so not sure if you can just start doing that. I am always careful to make sure it's not something smelly or noisy. Usually a piece of cheese or some kind of fruit cut up. No one has ever given me any flack about it, and if they did, I'd just say, "I get cranky when I am hungry. You don't want me cranky." or "eating small amounts regularly works for me, and it's my 10:30 AM feeding time."

Jackie said...

Could it be that stress is making you a bit hungrier too? Stay the course and if I saw the message on your cute little vase correctly: "Be Happy" and do what you know is right for you. Your new coworkers will catch on soon enough and probably admire your focus and resolve. Enjoy your weekend.

kristi said...

Hi, I found you thru another blog I read. I started a new job in October and it has been slow going with my weight loss, but WE can do it! Hope you can check out my blog.

kristi said...

What??? No Gmail? No Blogger at work? What kind of company did you go to work for? ;) In all honesty, if I was the owner of some company, I'd totally be like China and block every website that could even remotely be considered a time waster haha. Congrats on the new job and looking forward to when you have more time to post!

Marion said...

I feel your pain! I am struggling too! I just bought a bracelet and had it engraved with a saying that helps me get through times when I am really struggling. I am hoping it helps me resist! Hang in there! change is always hard!
murn