Reversing a train

Last week, at Weight Watchers, the scale told me that I gained a few lots of pounds.  If you recall, this was no surprise.  But I wasn't done.

That trending continued through half of the week...but not with as much momentum.  And by Friday, I stopped the train of reckless self-abandon.  By Sunday, I had turned it around completely.

So when I stepped on the scale last night, I was up 0.4 pounds.

I think the hardest thing to do is to stop doing whatever it is that is causing you harm and to choose something different.  I find this especially difficult when what I'm craving is comfort.

Because when I crave comfort, I want to feel good, loved, and, well...comfortable.  Know what isn't comfortable?  Feeling alone.  Feeling deprived.  Feeling out of control.

So sometimes, when I crave comfort, I go for overeating as the solution.  It doesn't feel particularly great, at least, not after the binge-like behavior.  But in the moment?  Endorphins get released, things feel good, things taste good, and more importantly, they feel familiar.

Comfortable.

That is, until the self-loathing comes along.  Although, to be completely honest, that's pretty damn familiar too.

While part of me is ashamed that it took me a week and a half of absolutely horrible eating practices to turn this thing around, part of me is happy that at least I didn't wait until a Monday to make changes.

In fact, yesterday is the first Monday in a LONG time that I haven't gone over my points.  I didn't feel deprived at any point in the day.  I had delicious healthy meals that fueled my body better than crappy food I had been putting in it the previous two weeks.

At the end of the day, I realized that I was okay with not continuing to eat.  I was satisfied - especially after enjoying a serving of Ben & Jerry's new decadent ice cream. 

I counted up my points and voila!  I hit my target exactly.

Today, I had a good breakfast.  I have snacks of veggies, cheese, and fruit for the day.  For lunch I have a delicious veggie wrap and tomato soup and for dinner, I'll have tortilla crusted baked tilapia with broccoli. 

My freezer and fridge are stocked with healthy options.  And while those things don't bring about the same comfort as over-eating does, it does bring about a different feeling of comfort. 

My body, itself, feels comfortable.  I have more energy and I don't feel sluggish after meals.  I feel comfort in staying within my financial budget too by eating food that I already have in my house and not swinging by my local fast food place to buy crap food.

This week, I just want to continue this trend.  I want to continue to eat fresh foods that make my body feel good.  I also want to add in an element of exercise.  I want to not binge on Sunday during the game.  I want to weigh less next week than I did this week.

All of those things are within my control.  All of those things are in the path that I'm currently on. I just need to keep going.