Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Which way is the music??

I went to my Weight Watchers meeting last night and gained back almost all of the weight that I've lost.

Before I stepped on the scale, my leader asked me, "So...how are things?"  And I gave her the most honest reply I could - being, "I don't want to talk about it."

I still struggle with feeling judged when I step on the scale.  Probably because I still struggle with judging myself based on the number on the scale.  But I didn't feel like discussing all that.  I didn't feel like having a heavy conversation last night. 

So I weighed.  I updated my weight loss tracker at the top of this page.  I stayed for the meeting.  I listened to other people's successes.  And my mood lightened and I started to shed the harsh judgements that only I heap on myself.

I got the weigh in sticker that indicated that I gained and you know what?  The world didn't stop turning.  No one on the street (or even in the meeting) gasped at me or shielded me from their baby's gaze.

Huh.  Go figure.

So I gained.  It's done.  All I can do is come up with a plan for today and for this week.

My plan for this week?  Track.  I do better when I track...and I'm not just talking about weight loss (though they seem to go hand in hand).  When I track, I have a moment to plan, to slow down, and process what it is that I really want.

Last night I met a friend at a restaurant near my meeting...and when I got there, I was famished.  I ate half of the appetizer, half of my entree (but all of the sweet potato fries - yum!).  And had half of the dessert. 

But before I went, I checked out some points values online and I did a pretty good job picking things that wasn't as high in points as others.  This morning, I counted my points, figured out just how many weekly points I blew through, and then started planning for today.

And today?  I'm going to Famous Dave's for lunch with an ex-coworker.  But I've planned out the meal - not picking the "easy" and "diety" go-to choice of just salad (and wow...you might be surprised at some of those point values on the salads).

I'm having ribs, garlic mashed potatoes, and steamed broccoli.  All for 11 points. 

Tonight?  I'm having baked tortilla crusted tilapia with veggies and couscous.  Or maybe a veggie wrap made with hummus, guacamole, and fresh cut peppers,carrots, and cucumbers in a high fiber fold-up.  I'll decide tonight based on if I want a hot or cold dinner.

I like having a plan.  The engineer in me loves being a bit anal retentive.  But the rebellious teenager in me also loves being able to have variety and tasty food without feeling like I'm on a diet.  I like that I can have both.

What's your plan of attack this week?


Anonymous said...

My Plan? To join WW this week. :) My friend lovingly told me to stop look at what everyone does - and do what works for me. And the truth is - ww works for me when I stick to it. Huh - shocker! Stick to something and it will work? Who knew! I'm proud of you for getting back on the horse today. I loved when you said no one shied their children away from you! haha, you are so funny! Keep at it girl!


The Girl From Back Then said...

Good for you love, a plan helps me too. It keeps me grounded and then I'm able to choose the right thing at the right time. It's not hard in itself, but the consistency has always been an issue for me. Keep at it :)

BEE said...

i did the same thing on weight watchers i would do good 1 week then gain it back the next
its very hard but you can do it
for me i have changed my thought process around i use food for energy through out the day and to keep my body healthy
not for fun or comfort and based on how im feeling emotionally

but you can do this we all can do this
its all in our mind and once we change that we can chane everything

Monika www.endyoyo.com said...

I love your attitude, never give up! ;-)