Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The art of actually trying...

Alright, I'm coming clean.  I'm REALLY unhappy with my body these days.

As in, I've gained weight AND inches and I'm really unhappy with how I look in the mirror and reflections of store front windows.  My skin feels almost as tight as the clothes I'm wearing.

What's more, with this new job (!) that I'm taking on, I need to buy dress clothes for every day wear (I currently wear jeans and a nicer top) and that means that I have to go to Lane Bryant or the likes for my clothes needs.  Because dress pants at the Gap (which top out at 16) no longer fit.


I've found myself thinking about going all protein, no carb because I know I drop weight quickly on that.  I've wondered about doing Medifast (since Lyn has had so much success).  I've even thought a lot of a lot about going back to Weight Watchers - since I lost 56 pounds doing their old program. 

But then I realized that I'm not even TRYING to do intuitive eating any more.  I'm just eating.  I'm not planning, not thinking, not trying to cut some calories, and I'm eating when I'm not hungry.  Uhhh...so basically, I'm not doing anything about my eating.

So while I may actually try WW again (since the new PointsPlus actually sounds like it encompasses intuitive eating guidelines more than ever), I'm not going to do that now.

I figure if I'm even thinking about paying $10 per week for a program, I should first take a look at what I'm eating/drinking and why.  First, I should actually TRY the lifestyle that I want to be successful at.

So I'm promising myself to eat when I'm hungry, but to stop when I'm no longer hungry.  No points, no judgement on what I'm eating.  Just that - eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm satisfied.  For at least a week.  And next Tuesday, if I'm still gaining weight like a champ, I can re-evaluate from there.

When I actually DO mindful eating, I lose weight.  When I listen to my body's signals of hunger and satiety, I choose foods that are good to me, not just because they're lower in points, calories, or carbs.

I'm coming to the realization that I may need the structure of a standardized program for now.  And I'm vowing to have a firm plan by the end of this month - whether to continue what I'm doing or to do a different plan.

But for this week, I'm going to work hard at practicing intuitive/mindful eating.  I know it can work...just like I know WW can work.  I just need to actually DO the work.

Things that are going to help me? 

1. I've been taking pictures of my food before I eat/drink it.  That gives me a chance to stop and ask myself how hungry I actually am before ingesting it. 

2.  I'm going to stop my eating or drinking at 1/4, 1/2, and 3/4 of the way through to ask myself if I'm still hungry or not.  This morning, I woke up with a starving tummy.  So I made a smoothie with protein powder, spinach, and milk.  I only drank about a third of it - because what I had eaten/drank was enough to make me feel satisfied.  Even though I hate wasting things, I figured it'll go to my waist if I drink it all...so I might as well waste it.

3.  I'm going to brush my teeth after each meal.  I'm realizing that I'm snacking when not hungry because it's there or because I can.  But eating with freshly brushed teeth tastes kind of nasty.  Brushing my teeth will help me be mindful of if I'm really hungry or not.  Because if I am, I'll forgo the bad taste to get some fuel.  If I'm eating just to eat, I'm finding that I don't eat because I know I won't like the taste.

4.  More water.  I know I'm only getting in about a liter of water a day.  For someone that used to drink almost a gallon, this is quite a drop off.  I feel better when I drink more water - and I realize that sometimes I'm not actually hungry, I'm thirsty.  This will help me differentiate between the two.

And that's it.  This week, I'm promising to be more mindful about what I put in my body. 

I owe it to myself.

Starting weight?  Let's just say it's higher than where I've been for almost 2 years.  UGH.


Jams said...

Only one way to go from here. Don't look back. Don't compare it to where you used to be. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Pay attention to your body and all will be grand! :) You're going to rock it out!

Katy said...

I totally understand where you're coming from. my "Plan" is to do another body for life round, but even the best plans take work. Sometimes you just gotta do it!

Lisa said...

I am right there with you. I have stopped really paying much attention to what I eat or if I am hungry. I really need to get the head together so i can get my sh*t together!!!! good luck to you!!

Ex Yo-Yo Dieter Debbie said...

You are taking the high road, sister.

You DO owe it to yourself to take good care of yourself.

Even a week or so of following a plan (even intuitive eating is sort of a plan in my mind) will help.

Take it one meal/eating experience at a time...before you know it, this "detour" will be in the past.

Karen@WaistingTime said...

I was actually thinking about something along these lines recently - that whole notion of a "plan" or "program" vs. none. What little I have read about intuitive eating makes so much sense and I ring all the bells for someone who should try it. But I guess I don't trust myself because I never seem to be able to just not eat if I am not hungry. BTW - I went to a WW before my surgery to check out the new plan. I did WW many years ago, successfully, until, like with everything else, I stopped following and regained.

Dillypoo said...

Suggestions for the wardrobe: Give yourself a set budget and buy a few pieces that can be worn in various combinations. Shop at inexpensive stores, like Marshalls, Kohls, Costco (yes, Costco!) and sale racks at Lane Bryant. As you lose sizes, repeat again. This will give you new style options about the same time as you're tiring of the few pieces you have on hand, and give you a morale boost because you're a smaller size!

And there's no shame in working within a structured program like WW or Medifast. As Lyn says, find the tool that works best for you. I'll wager that $10 weekly fee is less than one lunch or dinner eaten out.

I'm rooting for you!

Moving Mertle said...

I totally understand where you're at. I've had the thought: "Why can't I lose weight WAAA, ooooh I'm not actually trying at all, boo" Sounds like you got your head back in the game.

Also I hope you find a ton of clothes at Lane Bryant. Size 16+ is annoying since GAP is too small but sometimes LB is too big. I find dresses fit me a lot easier and they aren't that much more work in the morning.

Bella's Mommy said...

I too have been looking at Medifast and WW (we have a group at work) or even going no carb for awhile but just not motivated to do anything.

Polar's Mom said...

Don't be so hard on yourself-you had softballs in your uterus!!!

So you know what is wrong and what you want to change, and you can start just as easy as you did before! And now that you are running, too, world look out!!

You'll be back to Jessica Rabbit in no time!

Polar's Mom

Aliice said...

1st step...Recognize you need a change. I tried every diet known to woman and after a decade & 1/2 of being 'obese' I have now lost over 80+lbs! I eat alotta small meals daily. I've taken bits & pieces from different programs that worked for me! Don't cut carbs bc the weight will comeback when the carbs do; instead, eat high fiber complex carbs early in the day (b4 6pm). Eat high lean proteins; lottsa colorful fruits & veggies and drink plenty of water. I found some natural supplementation worked great for me: Omega 3s; D3; multivitamins; and hoodia. But not just any hoodia... I found it in raw natural form from www.icecubediet.com It COMPLETELY CURBED MY CRAVINGS & JUMPSTARTED MY METABOLISM! Regardless of my thyroid problem and female hormones, I was able to loose my last 30+lbs! I am now a size 6 and fabulous...check it out!

Dawn said...

You sound really determined. I'm back on a plan having tried loads of different diets over the years. Its hard to go back after all, they didn't work for me last time. This time I'm trying my plan. I know what works for me and doesn't. i know what I should be eating and how much of it. This time its has to be for life so your good resolutions of what to eat, when to stop, what to drink and what makes YOU focussed are all really good steps. Good for you!

Leah said...

I can totally relate to this. I have been really not giving it my all lately and completely unsatisfied with the results I am getting. All the best with your plan. You can do this!

Lanie Painie said...

You go girl! And take me with you, will ya? You wouldn't believe what I shovelled into my gut today.

Amy P said...

Is it funny how I think we got to the same point at about the same time? I finally got off my duff and started exercising regularly and I have tracked using the new WW plan all day Friday and Saturday, part of Sunday and part of Monday and all day yesterday and all day today. It's amazing how actually DOING IT works. My friend Shawna said today, "you are forgetful. Sometimes you just forget to take care of yourself." That's what it feels like. Like I forgot how much better I feel when I do it. What is working for me is lots of small meals spread out by 2 to 3 hours. I ate 1/2 my sandwich at lunch and the other half before doing 30 Day Shred (yes, me, too). I am very proud of myself for that. I am trying to apply your intuitive eating ideas and they help. Thanks! (oh, and if you didn't know already, halfanamy.blogspot.com is back up and running).

liz said...

Good plan I really related to where you are at. Anxious to hear for you do this week.