Tuesday, July 6, 2010

I can see clearly now...

Last week was rough.

I did read a lot of posts, but just couldn't bring myself to comment on many of them.

I have been depressed few times in my life...but last week? I was absolutely depressed. All I wanted to do was to crawl into a cave for a while, lick my wounds, and then come out if it was absolutely necessary.

And that's what I did.

Sorry for the absence - both on this blog and via comments on yours.

After a weekend of fun at the Colorado Springs Zoo (which is actually called Cheyenne Mountain Zoo...and I think that's a bit confusing), a trip to a local arts festival, and a TON of sleep, I feel much better.

I'm so thankful that I had friends that reached out to me - even when I didn't reach back. And I'm thankful that I had an understanding boyfriend who, when I told him that I wanted to mope around the house all weekend, told me that that was okay. He's been putting in a LOT of overtime lately, and Thursday night he actually came home to work at home (instead of the office - even though that made his work significantly harder and longer) just because he knew it would comfort me.

I ate a lot of rich foods. A LOT of rich foods. The scale is up today in numbers that I haven't seen for months. Long story short, I've gained FIVE pounds. FIVE! That bums me out, but I know that I was up 3.6 pounds from yesterday to today. So whether it's water, sodium, or evidence that I fed my feelings, I'm okay with it.

It's just a number...and I'd take being out of the depression fog any day over being lighter.

The weight will come off, just as the sorrow will come back some days.

But for now, I feel better...and that, at least, is a start.

10 Comments:

Fat Girl vs. World said...

I love the quote from thich nhat hahn -- that negative emotions are alike a small child that needs to be held...

and then let go...

I'd be more concerned if you just powered your way through things.

christina said...

My week was very very much like yours - by evidence on my own blog. I was in a horrible funk and felt very alone and depressed and like a failure out of no where... it leaves like it came in, quick an dout of no where.

I wasnt brave enough to sit on the scale to see what I did to myself though.

Katy said...

I'm so glad you're feeling better.

Lesia said...

I totally missed you and I even told my hubby "I hope she is OK? It's not like her to just stop posting." So see I was concerned. And when are you going to get your blog jazzed up by Sam? Been waiting to see that too. Glad you are back. I MISSED you.smile.

Ginger said...

so happy your blues are turning into brighter colors.

verif word: flying - you are going to fly right through this :)

Lanie Painie said...

Love your blog, even when your pants are neither fun nor happy.

Missed you!

questionsfordessert.com said...

Hang in there, friend.

You're not mourning alone.

TinaM said...

We all have those days, mine happened to be this last week also lol.
I'm so glad you are feeling better, and most importantly that you are not beating yourself up. Those pounds will come right back off, because you are doing such a great job!

Amy P said...

I think we grieve for pets the same way we would grieve for any loved one. I know I have in the past. I know I will again in the future, but I know my life is enriched by having my Miner even if I know there will be an end date. Like FGvW said, I'd be worried if you weren't feeling the feelings and just powering your way through it.

carla said...

so glad youre emerging from the fog.
its hard and IMO if we dont embrace and FEEL OUR SORROW then it simply is dormant within us waiting to come back.

Miz.