Friday, July 23, 2010

Picture this

Yesterday, I was going through some pictures on my work computer - thinking that I had some of my best friend and I.

It turns out, I don't - at least not on this computer. So I went onto my myspace account (which I haven't been on all year) and started looking through my "albums" thinking that there would be some on there.

I didn't find the pictures I was looking for, but I did find some old ones from before my weight loss.

I used to do the whole profile picture thing where the picture was usually of something other than me. If it was of me, it would be just my face. I'd take dozens of pictures and then pick out the two or three that looked like I had a skinnier face than others.

It was silly.

But without further ado, here is me then...and now.
With my older sister:

With my younger sister (I'm even doing the whole "lift your head up so you don't look like you have four chins thing"):

Just me:

When I look at those pictures, somehow I'm aware that the work that I've done is worth it. Not just for cosmetic reasons, but because I remember how frustrated I'd be scrolling through 50 pictures trying to find one where I didn't look as fat.

I remember hating the way I looked so much that I wondered why I should even bother.

I remember not wanting someone to "capture the moment" because I knew that I would love the memory of the fun we were having, but would not love the shame that came with seeing the picture later.

Now, I don't worry as much. I can enjoy being in the moment much more.

I don't remember me ever being that big. In fact, the one of just me (the before shot) was one of the best of the bunch...I was proud of that picture. In fact, when I looked at the pictures yesterday - for the first times in years, I was shocked at just how big I had been.

I'm looking forward to becoming even more secure in my looks - where I don't care what I look like in the pictures - where I focus on the fun we were having rather than worrying about multiple chins.

I'm looking forward to not ducking at least partially behind other people when someone whips out a camera.

What are you looking forward to, picture wise?


Fat Girl vs. World said...

I know this is a weird comment -- but in the newer pictures, your smile isn't as hesitant, not as forced. You are really smiling from the inside out. You have ever reason to. GAWGEOUS!!! Absolutely GORGEOUS!

Katy said...

You have the best simle! I can really tell a difference in your face.

pictures are a sensitive subject for me. You'd think, as a photographer, I'd be totally fine with having my picture taken, and be comfortable around the camera, but I HATE it. I'm workin on it though. I just want to be able to take pictures and not be soo attached to finding the least fat looking face, lol

Debbie said...

You look amazing. I love your hair by the way. You also have a great smile and I can really tell the difference in your pictures. Have a nice weekend.

Happy Fun Pants said...

You ladies are so sweet!

But I swear - I didn't post this to get compliments! I just wanted to show the difference - especially when I didn't even KNOW that I had gotten as big as I had.

I think, for some reason, that I thought that if I took pictures of just my face that no one would notice that I was fat.

I don't have a lot of before body shots (because I wouldn't normally allow them to be taken).

Lanie Painie said...

No matter what the shape of your face is, has been, or will become, you have one of THE most awesomely terrific smiles I've ever seen.

Thank you for smiling at us today. I needed that and found myself smiling (every so slightly) in return.

Fat Girl vs. World said...

we know you weren't fishing for compliments...
but seriously -- you deserve them.

Mandy said...

Thank you so much for posting these pictures! I can more easily picture you jogging into a van! Thank you! Love the pictures!

Karen@WaistingTime said...

One of my first posts was about avoiding pictures or trying the "chin" trick or not putting unflattering ones in our scrapbooks. When we had family photos taken a couple of years ago (first ever, my son was getting his HS senior portrait done), I actually told the photographer that we would not buy any that made us look fat!

And I did not know you are a fellow redhead:)

TinaM said...

Thanks for sharing those pictures with us!!! You look amazing! (you were beautiful then too, but you can tell your happier now) Another great post :)

I am where you WERE. I have NEVER used my picture as a profile pic, not here, not facebook ect. I love taking pictures, so I have plenty of scenery and cats to choose from lol. (I did get brave and finaly put some pics up on my blog- but never as my profile pic)

I look forward to using my own picture in my profile. I mostly look forward to having a family portrait done, which I have been avoiding because of my weight. My son is almost 12 now... I guess I better get to loosing faster before he's all grown up!

Becca said...

Gret photos! What a huge change - obviously you've worked really hard.

You're one hot chicka!

Jenn said...

I think you look just as gorgeous in both pictures, Lucky duck with red hair!! I have wanted red hair every since I was kid!!!! Btw congrats on your success.

Lala said...

I have to say, you were gorgeous then and you are gorgeous now! But, I can see that you have lost weight, and your smile is wonderfully open in your more recent shots :-) I am where you were (notice that my blog shows NO photos of me :-)). But, I really love that you share this because it's one of the (many) things I look forward to!

Lala said...

Also, thank you so much for checking in with me. You are such a sweetheart! I'll write you a longer email when I get a chance. Things are still hectic at the moment!

Amy P said...

I love that you can smile and show your teeth! I can't do it without looking forced. No clue why.

I am looking forward to getting a new badge at work and new photo up on the employee photo page. Some day I will download that picture. It's possibly the heaviest I ever was.

Keelie said...

Great comps!!! There are so many reasons to celebrate being a smaller person. Love it!

adrienne said...

Great pictures. You can tell how happier you are as you lose weight. Even at my thinnest I hated taking pictures.

Ginger said...

can i just say i love how bright red your hair is. is that you natural color? seriously it's gorgeous. i like before and after pictures