Picture this

Yesterday, I was going through some pictures on my work computer - thinking that I had some of my best friend and I.

It turns out, I don't - at least not on this computer. So I went onto my myspace account (which I haven't been on all year) and started looking through my "albums" thinking that there would be some on there.

I didn't find the pictures I was looking for, but I did find some old ones from before my weight loss.

I used to do the whole profile picture thing where the picture was usually of something other than me. If it was of me, it would be just my face. I'd take dozens of pictures and then pick out the two or three that looked like I had a skinnier face than others.

It was silly.

But without further ado, here is me then...and now.
With my older sister:


With my younger sister (I'm even doing the whole "lift your head up so you don't look like you have four chins thing"):


Just me:

When I look at those pictures, somehow I'm aware that the work that I've done is worth it. Not just for cosmetic reasons, but because I remember how frustrated I'd be scrolling through 50 pictures trying to find one where I didn't look as fat.

I remember hating the way I looked so much that I wondered why I should even bother.

I remember not wanting someone to "capture the moment" because I knew that I would love the memory of the fun we were having, but would not love the shame that came with seeing the picture later.

Now, I don't worry as much. I can enjoy being in the moment much more.

I don't remember me ever being that big. In fact, the one of just me (the before shot) was one of the best of the bunch...I was proud of that picture. In fact, when I looked at the pictures yesterday - for the first times in years, I was shocked at just how big I had been.

I'm looking forward to becoming even more secure in my looks - where I don't care what I look like in the pictures - where I focus on the fun we were having rather than worrying about multiple chins.

I'm looking forward to not ducking at least partially behind other people when someone whips out a camera.

What are you looking forward to, picture wise?