Thursday, October 8, 2009

They're just numbers

I'm pretty proud of myself.

Actually, I could start a completely different post from there - mostly because growing up I always felt that to be proud of yourself meant that you thought you were better than someone else. Since that was bad, being proud of yourself must be bad.

These days, I'm realizing how good it feels to actually *be* proud of myself.

Anyway, I've run the past three days at lunch and am *thrilled* with my reaction to the running. I'm not saying that it's going to be like this forever, but these days, I run more because it is a stress relief rather than something that I *must* do to get fit.

One day this week, I ran at a pace that was so much slower than normal that I was actually surprised that I wasn't disappointed. It's funny how not basing my worth on numbers (weight, pace, time, inches, etc.) feels so much better. I recognized that the pace was slower but it didn't diminish the great feelings that accompanied running, moving my body, relieving the stress, and getting away from the office. Those things were what if my pace was slower? I'm better for having done it - slower or not.

Yesterday, I ran and the colors of the changing leaves struck me as so pretty, I wanted to remember how beautiful and peaceful it was. If only I had a way to remember that moment! Then I did a mental mind slap as I realized I had a tool with me - I could stop and take pictures with my iPhone.

And then I thought, "But wait! Taking pictures with my phone means that I will have to stop running! It means that I'll have to stop my pace! I've never tried pausing my running with the Nike+. What if it loses all the data? WHAT IF THE DATA IS MESSED UP?!?"

The next thought was this: "Fuck it. They're just numbers."

Here is the best of the pictures I took:

Clearly, I didn't do the view justice...but it was gorgeous. You'll have to trust me on that one.

And actually, that's kind of how I feel about my future...because the view from here? It's gorgeous, too.


Amy Pousson said...

Don't you love the sound of leaves rustling and crunching under your feet when you run in the fall? That is one of my new favorite things.

Slackey said...

Sounds like you're being good to yourself, which is always awesome to hear. Keep it up!!!

Lori said...

I'm addicted to running, too. After 13 years of it, my body is starting to not love it so much, but mentally and even physiologically I crave it. And I, too, have the same fear of stopping, though mine is borne of the fear that it can be SO hard to start again once you lose momentum. But then, it is nice to stop and see the forest for the trees.