Tuesday, October 27, 2009

More than halfway

May 11th was when I had lost exactly 55.6 pounds - which was/is exactly halfway to my weight loss goal. And although I was proud of the progress that I had made in just 9 short months, I was also worried, concerned, scared, and kind of freaking out.

And so, as you've noticed, I paused. I put my weight loss on hold and decided to apply all of the things that I had learned up until that point. In doing so, I had to let go of all of the timelines I had set. I let go of some insecurities and I started to love the body I had. I felt (in some cases for the first time) all of the emotions of scared, worried, concerned and anxiety.

I concentrated on the feelings.

And then, in most cases, I released them.

I find it encouraging that I knew when I had to start loving my body. I knew that pausing was the right thing to do long term - even if it felt like a failure at times. It's almost like I was running a race and had a pain in my side. I was out breath and just needed to stop - if only for a little while.

I find it encouraging to look back at my May 11th email and realize that I no longer worry that I will gain the weight back because I *know* that I will lose it all. It may take me another year, but it will be gone. I'm so happy that I don't have those thoughts anymore.

As I shed each pound, I'm encouraged by the new identity that is emerging. My new identity feels more like me anyway.

So why am I writing all of this down here now? Well, I weighed in last night and I'm thrilled to report I'm officially over the hump. 56 pounds down puts me at more than halfway to my goal.

To continue the analogy from before, the pain in my side is gone and my breathing is back to normal.

It's time to start running again.

7 Comments:

Misspudding said...

The fact that you maintained for that long is great. What an awesome lesson.

You're an inspiration!

Fat[free]Me said...

Many people would have put some weight back on while taking a rest. The fact that you haven't is proof that you will keep the weight off and will succeed in meeting your eventual target.

Your patience and philosophy is admirable - well done!

Amy Pousson said...

Woot!! Cheesy as it sounds as I type it, you are inspiring. :)

Slackey said...

I'm so impressed with your accomplishments. The fact that you've maintained your weight for the past six months and that you're moving forward is inspiring.

Keep up all the good work! :)

POD said...

Keep up the fantastic outer & inner work with your health, and the immeasurable inner growth.

Lyn said...

That is so awesome. We really are a lot alike. I had to pretty much take a year to get my head straight, too. And now I am off and running WITH you :)

Lisa (the girls' moma) said...

Congratulations my friend. You are incredible and awesome. And getting Smaller, Fun Pants!

Ha!