Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Don't Ask

First, thank you SO much for your suggestions from my last post regarding what to do to decrease stress going into the surgery.

This morning, I picked out a luxurious soap to use in the shower and pampered myself afterwards with some good lotion.  I've also signed up for a restorative yoga class on Friday and have picked out a few stress-busting ideas for the rest of the week.  THANK YOU!

Yesterday I went to my pre-op surgical appointment...and the surgeon who is operating on me also delivers babies.  He actually had to deliver one during our appointment...so we had to wait for 20-30 minutes in the middle of it.

The funny thing?  His ringtone when the hospital calls him is "Push it" - you know, the song from the 80s?  Sure, it could be considered crass, but I laughed.

He assured me that all the cramps and leaking that I've been experiencing are completely normal.  Even what happened on my run a few weeks ago...all completely normal.  He said that I'll feel so much better after the fibroid is removed and I am choosing to believe him.

I also met with the nurse at the hospital...who gave me a lot of information that might or might not be useful.  I think she was trying to help, but gave me WAY more information (and things to worry about).

Then...at the end of the appointment, she said, "I just love your hair."

I said thank you. 

"It's just beautiful."

I nodded, smiled genuinely, and said thanks again.  But I knew what was coming next. I ALWAYS know what's coming next.


And then..."Is that your natural color?"
 
For the record, I HATE that question.  I know other redheads who also hate that question.
 
Here's the thing, on behalf of all of us (whether natural or "enhanced") can I just say STOP ASKING.  Assume one way or the other because what difference does it make?  But for the love of donettes (or for the love of all that's hole-y.... hahah!!!), stop asking. 
 
In fact, let's extend that to situations where you're curious about a boob job, tan, eyelash length, eye color, hair color, or possible fake leg.  JUST DON'T ASK.  Assume one thing and then move on. 
 
And OH MY GOSH if you're a guy?  STOP ASKING.  Because if you have to ask, you're not ever going to know...not really.  I can't tell you how many times I was asked that on first dates or email chats. 
 
Also?  Asking if the "drapes match the carpet" is vile.  Unless you're an interior designer.  And even then?  It's still creepy.
 
Okay then.

16 Comments:

Lanie Painie said...

Just curious: Is your hair natural?

Janell said...

I could not think of any suggestions which I kind of thought was funny/interesting. I've had lots of surgeries and sometimes contemplate "what could happen" and I never worry. It's very random how I can just give myself up to these doctors and assume I'll be just fine on the other side, regardless.
Oh, I suggest that same thinking for you. You'll be just fine, regardless.
I do not care about carpet and drapes. ;-) What happens later in life is the carpet starts falling out.

Ex Yo-Yo Dieter Debbie said...

So it's don't ask, don't tell! Amazing how people feel entitled to ask such personal questions...

I'm still trying to work on my guest post...and I'm rarely at a loss for words!

Try not to think about your surgery too much...finding ways to de-stress and take care of yourself is a very good idea.

You will hear from me soon!

Lesia said...

Nope no body has EVER asked me about my hair color. HUM wonder if it's because mine is blonde, hot pink & purple...LOL They say things like WOW I love your hair I wish I was brave enough to do that to mine. Not sure if that was a compliment or not though. smile.

SkippyMom said...

Coming from a family of redheads and blonds I always reply "Why would you care"/ I know that sounds rude but really the question is rude in the first place.

You surgery is going to go fine! Chin up and think positive. And with a doctor with a cute sense of humor [I liked his ringtone too] how could it be bad?

Take care - good thoughts your way.

Auntie Mandy said...

Do you use any rinses to enhance the color? What shampoo do you use? Brand of tampons?

Amanda said...

I think the doctor's ring tone is hysterical. That is too funny!

And I don't think I have ever once even thought to ask if someone's hair was their natural color. Maybe because there are so many redheads in my family?

Moving Mertle said...

I love being a red head...except for that question.

OMG almost peeped my pants when i read the doctors ring tone. Funniest thing I've heard in a while.

Karen said...

Oh that last part cracked me up:) When I was in college there was, surprisingly, a handful of redheads in my sorority. Our running joke was that only some of us were "true" redheads. If you catch my drift. Redheads need to stick together:)

Mimi said...

haha! That last paragraph totally made my night. thanks for the laugh.

GOOD LUCK with your surgery. In a month or so all this will be in the PAST.

For now jsut focus on staying healthy and getting lots of antioxidants.

Katy said...

I love that the Dr. had push it as his ring tone. And I agree, the drapes matching the carpet comment is always creepy.

It's about you said...

Just thinking...I love, love, love red hair and the only reason I might ask is I'd want to know the woman's hair dresser so that I could go there :-)

But I probably wouldn't ask a perfect stranger...even if they were perfect and all.

I'll never ask anyone that question again, for sure.

Polar's Mom said...

I totally agree!!! Don't ask, don't tell. Nobody's freaking business.

On the note of your surgery, I think you will do really well!

Polar's Mom
www.polarspage.blogspot.com

Dani said...

LMBO! Love the hair tangent! Glad that your doc seems great. Glad you are taking care of you.

Jen said...

Ugh, I hate getting that question. No, it is not my natural color, but I don't think people need to know that. It looks natural, and that's all that matters. Now leave me alone!

Anyway, I agree with you. Just wanted to say that.

TinaM said...

Push it Real Good!

I didn't know hair color was so personal :) Sooo is it real??? lol
I'm glad you said something, because I honestly didn't know people care when asked that...

I would just take it as a compliment :) They would probably kill to have that color.
And of course it's real! You can always say "yes, it's real" because whether it's natural or from a box- It's not imaginary or some hallucination... so it's real :)