When my Great Dane, Chassis, was alive, I got in the habit of saying the same thing when I left the house.
Each time, just before closing the door, I'd say: "Bye, Chassis! I love you. I'll be back later. Be a good girl and guard the house while I'm gone."
It didn't matter that she was crated for the first few months when she was a puppy. It didn't matter that she was the biggest scaredy cat when it came to any unknown people entering our house. A guard dog, she was not. And it didn't matter that she didn't understand a word I was saying. I said it for comfort, for continuity, and for reassurance for her...and myself.
Tomorrow, around 12:15 MST, I'll be under the knife. In case you're new here, I'm getting a uterine fibroid basically carved out of my uterus. I guess the surgeon didn't have a pumpkin handy.
My best friend asked me last night, "What's the worst that can happen?"
"Uh, I dunno. I guess DYING would be pretty high on the suck-o-meter," I replied.
"Well, what's so bad about that?" she countered.
Truthfully, I'm okay if that happens. But my biggest fear is that Joe, whose parents and step-parent died in the last few years, would have to deal with ANOTHER death. The first three have wounded him and I would rather not have him another major loss again. I just think that would be hard to overcome.
Chances of that are low. Very low. But I still have to sign a piece of paper that says that it's okay if I die on the table. Or due to complications from the surgery.
More than the nerves, I'm just ready. I'm ready to get this damn thing out already. I'm ready to be done with the pain and the bleeding. I'm ready to get on with my life afterwards. I'm ready to be done with the surgery. I'm ready for tomorrow to be over because it's been something that I've been anticipating for weeks now.
I feel peace with the process.
While I'm gone, I've arranged for some fantastic guest posts. You guys, these people are great. I've read their posts and they're better than great. I've got some that follow Intuitive Eating, some that have had Weight Loss Surgery, and some that are just trying to cut their calories and move more. All age ranges and YES! Even a MAN is guest posting (GASP!). It's my sincere hope that you all will be wonderfully entertained while I'm gone.
- Please don't abandon me! I'll be back posting regularly November 8th...I know that reading guest posts aren't some people's thing, and I respect your wishes if this is you. But please don't go away for forever!
- If you feel moved by a post, I know the author would appreciate your comment saying so; they worked hard on them! But please be respectful. I can't moderate the comments while I'm gone. If the guest blogger is following a weight loss method you don't endorse, feel free to comment, but please don't attack. I've seen this kind of stuff on other people's blog and I would hate it if my guests felt attacked.
- Give the guest bloggers a chance. They've got great blogs - and who knows? You might find one or two that you really enjoy and decide to follow regularly.
Lastly, in case I haven't said it recently, THANK YOU. Thank you for being supportive, thoughtful, and loyal. Your support has made a huge difference to me and my journey and I know without a doubt that I couldn't have made it this far without your kudos and words of encouragement. Even if you don't ever comment, your name in my follower field, or your number in my RSS feed makes me feel understood, heard, and validated.
YOU are fantastic.
So with that:
Bye! I love you. I'll be back later. Be good and guard the blog while I'm gone.