Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Jerry Springer would call this post "Final Thoughts"

When my Great Dane, Chassis, was alive, I got in the habit of saying the same thing when I left the house.

Each time, just before closing the door, I'd say: "Bye, Chassis!  I love you.  I'll be back later.  Be a good girl and guard the house while I'm gone."

It didn't matter that she was crated for the first few months when she was a puppy.  It didn't matter that she was the biggest scaredy cat when it came to any unknown people entering our house.  A guard dog, she was not.  And it didn't matter that she didn't understand a word I was saying.  I said it for comfort, for continuity, and for reassurance for her...and myself.

Tomorrow, around 12:15 MST, I'll be under the knife.  In case you're new here, I'm getting a uterine fibroid basically carved out of my uterus.  I guess the surgeon didn't have a pumpkin handy.

My best friend asked me last night, "What's the worst that can happen?" 

"Uh, I dunno.  I guess DYING would be pretty high on the suck-o-meter," I replied.

"Well, what's so bad about that?" she countered.

Truthfully, I'm okay if that happens.  But my biggest fear is that Joe, whose parents and step-parent died in the last few years, would have to deal with ANOTHER death.  The first three have wounded him and I would rather not have him another major loss again.  I just think that would be hard to overcome.

Chances of that are low.  Very low.  But I still have to sign a piece of paper that says that it's okay if I die on the table.  Or due to complications from the surgery.

More than the nerves, I'm just ready.  I'm ready to get this damn thing out already.  I'm ready to be done with the pain and the bleeding.  I'm ready to get on with my life afterwards.  I'm ready to be done with the surgery.  I'm ready for tomorrow to be over because it's been something that I've been anticipating for weeks now. 

I feel peace with the process.

While I'm gone, I've arranged for some fantastic guest posts.  You guys, these people are great. I've read their posts and they're better than great.  I've got some that follow Intuitive Eating, some that have had Weight Loss Surgery, and some that are just trying to cut their calories and move more.  All age ranges and YES! Even a MAN is guest posting (GASP!).  It's my sincere hope that you all will be wonderfully entertained while I'm gone.

 I'm asking three things of you, if you'll be kind enough to indulge me:
  1. Please don't abandon me!  I'll be back posting regularly November 8th...I know that reading guest posts aren't some people's thing, and I respect your wishes if this is you.  But please don't go away for forever!
  2. If you feel moved by a post, I know the author would appreciate your comment saying so; they worked hard on them!  But please be respectful.  I can't moderate the comments while I'm gone.  If the guest blogger is following a weight loss method you don't endorse, feel free to comment, but please don't attack.  I've seen this kind of stuff on other people's blog and I would hate it if my guests felt attacked. 
  3. Give the guest bloggers a chance.  They've got great blogs - and who knows?  You might find one or two that you really enjoy and decide to follow regularly. 
I should be released from the hospital on Friday and when I'm lucid enough, I'm sure I'll post a thing or two on here indicating that I'm a-okay.

Lastly, in case I haven't said it recently, THANK YOU.  Thank you for being supportive, thoughtful, and loyal.  Your support has made a huge difference to me and my journey and I know without a doubt that I couldn't have made it this far without your kudos and words of encouragement.  Even if you don't ever comment, your name in my follower field, or your number in my RSS feed makes me feel understood, heard, and validated.

YOU are fantastic.

So with that:

Bye!  I love you.  I'll be back later.  Be good and guard the blog while I'm gone.


Allan said...

If something goes wrong, please find my Grandpa Joe and tell him Big Al says "Told you it sucked down there."
Good luck, and get well fast...

Debbie said...

Good luck and we will miss you. I look forward to reading the guest blogs..

Jams said...

Take care of yourself. We'll be waiting here for your healthy return!

Debbie said...

Good luck and we will miss you. I look forward to reading the guest blogs..

Lanie Painie said...

I miss you already.

Don't be brave. Be you. Go ahead and feel your feelings. You know what to do. It's scary but I'm confident it will be okay. Let them take care of you and don't let them push you home until you're ready.

Ask the doctor of course, but I wouldn't expect the bleeding and cramping to stop right away. Don't forget to weigh yourself before and after. Also, please give Joe the camera so he can take photos in the recovery room when you're still stoned.

I can't wait to see who all you've got lined up for your haitus but I'll be looking forward to your safe and quick return.

Be Blessed!

KyokoCake said...

Good luck and you have no worries about people abandoning you :) we will all be waiting to hear how you are doing as soon as you are well enough to tell us!

Janell said...

I really want to see the thing they remove from the hole between your legs. Can you bring it back in a jar for showNtell?

You're not gonna die.
Hey Sus!

LauraLynne said...

wishing you best of luck and speedy healing!! We'll take it easy on anyone showing up in your space in the meantime...we promise!

Gina said...

I can't wait for you to be on the other side of this interuption too! Can you please include a quick update on snotty & snootey (sp?) and the latest dinner episode when you get back? Did you order a box of wine? Sending prayers & positive thoughts your way,


Karen said...

I hope all goes much more easily than you anticipate:) I will absolutely be here when you return and hope you can give a quick update to let us know you are okay. Hugs.

Lesia said...

Well reading all your comments, the same is in my heart for you too. Of course I will be here waiting to hear from you. God bless you and Joe while you are away. smile. PS I will be watching Allan for

Polar's Mom said...

You kick that fibroid's ass, girlfriend!

Polar's Mom

Anonymous said...

I'm sending you well wishes and luck! I hope you feel 100x better when you wake up (or at least within a few days of waking up).

I'll be excited to hear your guest posts AND from you when you return :)

Mary said...

I just found your blog (love it!) a couple weeks ago, so I feel kinda weird commenting about something so personal.

However, you will feel so good when the fibroid is gone--even though your recovery may be challenging because it's gonna be a little painful and you'll want to get your life back asap.

I know this because I had a gigantic fibroid (and 3 or 4 smaller ones) removed a little more than 9 years ago when I was 29. This was when I lived in Arizona. I had just met the man I would eventually marry, and I was so scared and worried about dying on the table or worse (in my mind) being rendered infertile.

So, I can relate to where you're at and I just want you to know I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and everything is going to be great.

(And, we have a 2 1/2 year old little girl and we're trying for our 2nd.)

(Oh, and we moved to Denver about a year ago and we love it.)

Be well and take care!

christina said...

Hoping for a speedy recovery!

Mind Over Fatter said...

Good luck, I'm sure all will be fine. I love your requests to your fellow bloggers - yes we'll still be here, yes we'll be kind to your guest bloggers and yes.... Take care of yourself and here's wishing you get ride of 10 lbs...

Anonymous said...

Good luck, tootz. I'll be thinking of you, of course.
Enjoy the drugs :) Spend lots of time in the Happy Fun Pants. Or better yet, NO PANTS!
The Mrs.

Kris said...

....thinking of you often.....

Ex Yo-Yo Dieter Debbie said...

I'll be thinking of you...You'll soon be fibroid-free!

Take care
xx Debbie

SkippyMom said...

With such a fabulous attitude how can it go wrong? You are going to be just great! [Is it wrong that I laughed at the part when you said "I had to sign a piece of paper that says it's okay if I die on the table."? My husband had to sign one of those a few months back for me and he wasn't happy. I like your spin on it.]

You go rock that hospital and we'll see you on the flip side!

Katie said...

Good luck! We'll be here waiting for you when you get back!

Sam said...

Good luck sweet heart! I'll be praying for you and the doctors working with you. You are such an inspiration to us all, and we aren't going to leave you now!

Fat Girl vs. World said...

Woof! **wags tail**
I know you'll be okay.

TinaM said...

Everything is going to be fine :) And no one is leaving you!

I'm thinking about you, and my prayers are with you.


Oh, I hope you have Joe keep track of all the loopy stuff you do/say while you are drugged... those can be fun stories sometimes and I want to hear them when you get back!!!!