Thursday, October 14, 2010

I can't count to 100...

I signed up for the Hot 100 Challenge a few weeks ago.

Right about now, I'm regretting it.

Here were my goals:

1) Wash my face each night before I go to bed.
2) Take a daily vitamin every day. No excuses.
3) Run a 10K.
4) Read one food or relationship with food book each month.
5) Get into a new "decade" of weight that I haven't seen in almost a decade by December 31st. I haven't weighed myself in the last few days, but I'm pretty sure that means dropping 15 pounds.
6) Continue to go to therapy.
7) Continue to practice being gentle with myself.

I'm failing at 1 and 2.  I'm so exhausted at night that it's about all I can do to make it to bed in something different than the clothes I wore to work.  Not kidding.  And my face is having plenty of zits to prove it. 

The vitamins?  They're some of the last things on my mind.

Running a 10K? I can't even run around the block...after my last bout with running, I've had to give it up until well after Thanksgiving.

I can read and I will continue to go to therapy...but the losing weight is going to have to be adapted and I need to work on the being gentle with myself.

Having said all that, I'm tweaking my goals.  What?  I'm a woman.  It's what we do.

1) Wash my face every night.  As much as I want to cringe about this, this shouldn't be too hard to do.  I need to nut up here.
2) Vitamin daily.  Again, this shouldn't be too hard - in fact, it can't get much easier.  I just need to get in the habit.
3) new goal will be to start running again once the doctor clears me.  I'd like to be back up to running 3 miles by the end of the year.  I think it's doable.
4) Reading...I'll keep this one.  I like to read about this kind of stuff and I know I'll have time on my hands after the surgery.  Reading about different ideas
5) Weight loss...look, I'm sure the surgery will have me lose a few pounds - just by the weight of the fibroid.  But losing 15 is probably not likely - especially when I can't exercise at any high intensity.  My new goal will be to not GAIN weight while recovering.  I think that's going to be a big challenge.
6) Therapy.  I will continue this - but this past week's session was a doozy.  We're getting to the heart of some seriously hurtful stuff...and it's not fun.
7) Being gentle with myself.  I'm going to try.  But right now, I'm frustrated with so many things in my life - things that I don't have a lot of control over.  Maybe that's why I'm taking it out on my face (by not washing it) and the vitamins (by not taking them).  At least those are two things I have control over.  But yes, this is a good I guess I'll keep it.

I don't know why I'm in such a cantankerous mood today, but I am.  Sleep is probably in order soon.


Lanie Painie said...

sleep is good. I think I'll go grab some myself!

Jams said...

Remember... you have control over those things... which means you can choose to do them or not. So, make the choice that will make you feel better about yourself. And give yourself a break now and again. If you're remembering the vitamin 4 out 7 days, I think that counts for something! So do what you can with what you have and just keep on pushing through.

Gina said...

Once I heard that every night you don't wash your face (sleep in your makeup) you age by like a week, instead of just a day. That's what made me change this habit; & no I don't think you're lazy, just excited to sleep! The vitamin thing I had a hard time with too. I left them on the kitchen counter for awhile to get in the habit of taking one while I ate breakfast. Now I won't go without one, but it's for other reasons. Be gentle; they're just rules, meant to be broken:-)

Karen said...

My first thought reading was... tweak your goals:) And you did! Hang in there.

TinaM said...

You are SO aloud to adjust your goals! I think you have made wise choices :)

South Beach Steve said...

There is nothing, absolutely nothing, wrong with revamping your goals. Anytime a goal gets too easy or too discouraging, it is time to change it!

Have a great week!

Lala said...

Hey, I have the same problem with washing my face, but for me it's because I hate cold water on my face before bed... but anyway, thought I'd offer up the solution I sometimes use: Skyn face cloths (get them at Sephora). They are free of nasty chemicals, etc, but they remove oil & make-up, and your face is washed in 2 seconds flat!