Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Everybody's doing it...

I see lists around the blog-o-sphere chalk full of things that they'll do when they lose all the weight. They'll buy new clothes, they'll be comfortable in their own skin, they'll try out for the choir, they'll date, they'll skinny dip, or they'll try Tai Chi.

On one hand, I love the idea of goals, of things that motivate us to be a better version of ourselves.  But I just can't jump on the bandwagon.

Because no matter what their aspirations, 99% of them could be done now.

Maybe it's a reflection of how far I've come in my journey, but I realize that before, when I was fat, I would plan things that I would do when I was skinny. I guess I thought that the planets would align, I would start dating a fantastic man, I would never have static cling, and I'd finally get rid of that pesky ring around the tub. Things would just be easier. And with all that ease, I'd find myself morphed into this person who could do anything, who was confident and competent.

If there's one thing that my quest to get healthier (mind, body, and spirit) has taught me, it's that I'm good enough now.

And if there's anything that the uterine fibroid has taught me, it's that I only have now.

It sounds a bit dramatic, doesn't it? But that's the truth. I don't know what's going to happen in two days when I go under the knife.

Knowing that my body is going to have to work harder to heal because I'm obese, sucks. Knowing that they're going to have to have extra people to move me from one gurney to the next, sucks. Knowing that I'm going to have my butt hanging out in the medical gowns, because one won't cover my wide load, is a bit embarrassing.

But that's where I'm at, now.

The thing that I hope that you, dear reader, get is that your life is happening right now.

Enroll in the belly dancing or striptease class. Who cares if you're the biggest one there? There's a lot of fun to be had. Your partner will undoubtedly enjoy the moves too.

Try out for the choir or the role in a community play.  Write the book you that only you can write. Find the time to be a better mother or father now. Apply for the job that you want versus settling for the job you have.

BE the person you were meant to be. Take chances. Take risks. Dream big.

LIVE your life, now. Because today is the only day that is certain. It's all we get.

What are you taking off your "Things to do when I'm thin and perfect" list and having the courage to try now?


Allan said...

I land at 5, see you later...in response to your post

Janell said...

Appear on America's Next Top Model

Brigitte said...

Good luck on the surgery! I don't have one of those lists either. Although, I am sure I have those sentiments and will think about what I could be doing now rather than waiting.

Lanie Painie said...

I totally agree with you, as usual!
I love your post!

It reminds me of one of my all-time favorite songs: Your Life is Now by John Mellencamp.

Back when Ally McBeal was popular and having your own theme song was in vogue, this was mine. I love it.


Sam said...

Amen sister!!! No more waiting!

Thinking of you, you'll be in my prayers!

LauraLynne said...

Even with more weight to lose, I run, work out hard, bike, swim, dance, wear stylish clothing (sometimes at least). There's not much I won't try at any weight...just now it's an easier decision.

Lily Fluffbottom said...

I don't hide from pictures any more. It occurred to me that while having my picture taken at my current weight makes me terribly uncomfortable, I'd rather have a reminder of all the good times in spite of my weight. Because I'm probably the only that cares anyone. You know?

Good luck with your surgery.

Anonymous said...

I've learned that there are few things more fun than shaking my fat ass to music. Whether I weigh 206 lbs or 166, it's a blast. And oddly enough, people enjoy seeing someone truly enjoy herself.
I'm thinking about you and your little unwelcome tagalong. I'll be praying for you. In part because I know you'll make an awesome mom, someday, and I know you worry. And in part because surgery is scary, yo.
Shorter Pants

Big Clyde said...

Actually telling people that I now run in races...people initially snicker, then look at me in disbelief...then start asking about my times (which are getting better!).

workout mommy said...

thank you for this post! So many times I get caught up in the daily grind that I forget to appreciate what I have NOW.

i hope everything with your surgery goes ok!